tas (yellowbrickrd)

Australia

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
-the wizard of oz

17
she/her

Message to Readers

I've always found moments of personal change really interesting so I wanted to try and capture one. I guess this is more of a character portrait than anything and the start of a series that may never materialise, who knows... I hope we'll see Kevin and his book again soon.

part 1- kevin realises he is adding nothing to the world and decides to make a change.

July 17, 2021

FREE WRITING

3
It was the day before Kevin's thirtieth birthday when he finally realised he was adding nothing to the world. It wasn't that he wasn't having a positive impact, that wouldn't have bothered him, made him leap from his chair with a profane exclamation, rather it was that he was having zero impact, he could die tomorrow and no one would realise. 

For the past fifteen years he had been a day trader, buying stocks for one price in the morning, selling them for another (hopefully higher price) in the afternoon. He had started along this mind numbing road in high school, watched his hundred dollars become two hundred and then one hundred again. Somewhere along the line he'd gotten addicted, his mum had always said it was a form of gambling. He cringed, remembering the shrill of her voice as she reprimanded him, get a real job; one I can be proud of! That was the last time he'd talked to her, maybe today that would change. Today everything would change. 

Building the Better You, 3 Easy Steps to Change Your Direction. Carlotta had given him this, and though he'd wanted to throw it out many times, rip out the pages and tear apart the garishly yellow cover, he hadn't, because it was all he had left of her. How is that possible? You ask, How can the only evidence of a decade long relationship be a cheesy self help book? And the answer: Kevin didn't know, he didn't know where the time had gone. He didn't know where she had gone. There were a lot of things that he didn't know. 

Step 1-
When you come to a cross road and choose another path, a better path, the path of the person you want to be, it is important to erase your past. This may seem overkill or just plain odd, but you must make sure that retreating back down the road you have come from, the road that made you unhappy and unfulfilled, does not happen. 

Kevin stood, shuffled over to his desktop, and deactivated his standard brokerage account, with only a tiny amount of hesitation. 

Step 2-
Make a list of everything you want, this too may seem extreme, but this is a life change we are talking about; a complete revaluation of where you have been, and where you want to go. Maybe you want to do this over multiple days, or many hours-

Kevin tore out this page, and the rest of this middle chapter. In his mind there was only one thing he or anyone else would ever want: joy. 

Step 3-
Find a goal, it may be something small or large, but this goal will act as a starting point, the first step you make towards a better you. 

Kevin closed the book, now a good deal lighter, and began a brainstorm, accompanying each potential goal with the reason(s) it would change his life. His list ran like this:
  • Get a job
    • new source of income
    • new social scene
    • reason to get out of bed in the morning
  • Lord of The Rings marathon
    • inspiring
    • watching their quest will help me on my own, maybe I can get a tattoo of Gandalf's words, all we have to decide it what to do with the time that is given to us. 
  • Write a book
    • telling people I'm writing a book would be cool
  • Get my GED
    • I'd have to study, hard
He looked his list up and down, down and up, and then in fat, red marker circled: Write a book.

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  • July 17, 2021 - 8:01pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • danee

    MrSnap has landed!!


    2 months ago
  • danee

    ahh it's the well fleshed out and relatable character for me :DDDD
    Re: no i actually didn't ;-; (maybe try Wintersiren#0809 again?) what's your code?


    2 months ago
  • tas (yellowbrickrd)

    ahh it's the run on sentences for me :')


    2 months ago