Ava Marie

Canada

Hi I'm Ava
16
She/Her

Aspiring Author
Dancer
Rock Climber
Island Girl

Always smiling
Beatlemaniac
Favourite book: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
I draw occasionally
I love constructive criticism!

Joined: 11/14/2020

Message from Writer

~Aspire to inspire~
———
Go check out my amazing real-life little sister Peyton Feltham, and incredible real-life friends MaddyK and Rival.
Also, my very talented WtW friends SamRose, BriRiley, and BizzleWrites!!
———
"Though my soul may set in darkness,
it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars
too fondly to be fearful
of the night."
-Sarah Williams
——
"You have to be odd to be number one."
-Dr. Seuss
——
"He said:
Don't you feel lonely living in your own little world?
She whispered:
Don't you feel powerless living in other people's worlds?"
-F.G.
——
"I am under no obligation to make sense to you."
-Unknown

The Girl in the Mirror

July 11, 2021

FREE WRITING

10
    Her hair was tangled. Sleep clung to the corners of her eyes. Her skin was red on the side from where her hand had rested against it while she’d contemplated getting out of bed, and the edges of her mouth were caked with dry saliva. Her posture was hunched over, something her grandma was always scolding her for, and her matching pyjamas hung loosely around her shoulders. Her parents and grandma were always either proud of her for being the best, or disappointed in her for not being perfect. But perfection wasn’t her goal, she didn’t want to be the greatest; she just wanted to be good enough. Good enough for her family, her friends, and herself. She stretched, tilting her head upwards away from the mirror, cracking her spine. Straightening her shoulders and holding her head up a bit more, she smiled at her reflection for a few seconds before giving up and slouching again. Mornings were the worst. She sighed at her greasy roots, she needed a shower.
    Was this girl in the mirror the one who reflected who she was the most?

    Her dark hair, still wet from the shower, hung heavily around her face and dripped water down her back. The mirror was fogged over, she wiped her and along the smooth surface across from where her brown eyes were. Knowing that the section she cleared wouldn’t be enough, she picked up a face cloth and cleared the whole mirror. 
    She stared at the glass, trying to find something in the reflection, even though she had no idea what she was looking for. A difference maybe. Her olive skin was wrapped tightly in a dark blue towel. She watched as droplet after droplet rolled down her forehead and off her chin, collecting in a pool on the tile. 
    Was this girl in the mirror the one who reflected who she was the most?
  
    Her hair was dried and straightened, it hung delicately around her face. Her brown eyes were brightened and opened with a touch of mascara. Her skin practically glowed after being washed. She was wearing a light blue, highwaisted jean skirt and a pretty, black, off the shoulder top. In this attire, she was the definition of beautiful. This was the way her friends knew her. This was the girl the other kids at school admired. But did they notice the way her eyes lingered on the other kid’s laughing faces, or how she only smiles because she’s supposed to look happy? Did anyone notice how she would withdraw herself from conversations sometimes when everyone else is joking around because she couldn’t figure out how to allow herself to be comfortable around others? 
    Would anyone think of taking the time to find out that all the brightness in her eyes is faked?
    Did anyone really notice her beyond her outward appearance? Anyone can put on a pretty face. But everyday, when she would look at herself in the mirror, that was all she saw. Shouldn’t there be something different? Shouldn’t she see more than the girl staring back at her? Maybe not. Maybe this was how she was supposed to feel. Maybe this was all she was; a reflection of the person she wanted to be. 
    Was this girl in the mirror the one who reflected who she was the most?

    It was late afternoon, she was sitting on the white, fluffy beanbag in her room, reading her newest book. She was absorbed, as fully and completely as one can be when entering the realm of a book. She glanced up for a second, her eyes locking onto those of her reflection in the glass that hung opposite where she sat. She hadn’t meant to, but she did. What she saw surprised her. Her hair was pushed up around her, spreading out as if it were the tail of a peacock, light from the window framing her face like a halo. She had changed out of her school clothes and into some leggings and a hoodie. Her feet were clad in the fuzziest pair of reading socks she could find. When she glanced back up from her outfit, she noticed the rest of her facial expressions. Her eyes seemed to glow with inspiration, even though some of her mascara had rubbed onto the soft skin underneath them. Her mouth was turned slightly upwards in a smile, even with no one around to see it. Her skin didn’t glow as brightly anymore, but now it glowed with happiness. And she realized that she really was happy.
    This was the girl in the mirror who reflected who she was the most.
 
I originally wrote this for a competition but, while following the prompts I wanted to use, I couldn't lengthen it enough to submit it. Anyways, now it's for you all and me. I have added a bit more since the last time I published it, and I would still love it if you would let me know what you think of it. 
Thanks, Ava

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  • July 11, 2021 - 12:22pm (Now Viewing)

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12 Comments
  • BizzleWrites

    Re: Haha thanks.
    Yeah... I'm doing okay, but there's been a lockdown in Melbourne for the last week and a bit, so we had to do online school, and let me tell you it does NOT get better the third or fourth lockdown. What about you?


    3 months ago
  • 1000Butterflies

    Re: Sure thing! Will look at it when I get a chance (might not be until tomorrow) I can defs let you know any time I publish any of it!


    3 months ago
  • 1000Butterflies

    RE: Thank you so much for reviewing my story! I will take all of your feedback gratefully! Would you like me to review one of your pieces as a bit of a thank you? I'll let you know when I've published the next part :)


    3 months ago
  • Fig

    Re: thanks for your comments on my other piece :) I tried to respond to it by commenting on my own writing ahhh... but your writing is really lovely and the whole piece was just so sweet. I loved the ending so much and the whole theme of the piece really hit hard :>


    3 months ago
  • Mary Wall

    Love this! And thank you for your comment on my piece!:)


    3 months ago
  • løne wølf

    the imagery in the beginning is -*chef's kiss* - perfect! <3

    re: thank you!! i'm so glad you liked it! :)


    3 months ago
  • Tachi

    re: That's okay, I think I'm doing Shakespeare next year for school.


    3 months ago
  • panda!

    love the details here-- this piece reads as so honest.


    3 months ago
  • Tachi

    re: Thanks! I just love Shakespeare, he isn't one of those poets that just wrote one good play, he wrote heaps!


    3 months ago
  • Zaffre

    Really good! I like this original idea about our reflection and it intrigued me a lot. I just suddenly thought about the existential crisis and how humans are the only beings to actually think about the fact that they exist. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like in the middle bit it kind of touches on mental health. Now that you've published it, you probably can't enter it in the competition anymore (obvs.) but if you want to lengthen it, I just have a few ideas. So umm I feel like you can expand on the real vs. fake theme or reality/illusion (that's just me) and more about the girl's reason for feeling uncomfortable aside from what was already written. The ending was really warm and gave me a fuzzy feeling, especially the last sentence. Your descriptions really bring her to life!


    3 months ago
  • Tachi

    It's okay that you couldn't lengthen it, I think it great now. I think if it was any longer I would've gotten bored anyway. This is an awesome piece!


    3 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    nice work! love the repetition of the question, and the way that the resolution of that question resolved the piece if that makes sense. if i can offer a bit of constructive criticism, make sure to focus on showing rather than telling; for example, i liked how you lead into the thing about her grandma with the posture, which is showing us the high expectations for her, but then it was spelled out in the next line; this is done a couple times in the piece. you show us a lot of things about this character through detail- make sure to trust the reader to pick up on it without being told! another thing i liked was the sort of build-up here, how our narrator starts out just woken up and bare, and then gradually puts a mask on before finally taking it off in the ending. great job here!


    3 months ago