concerned deeply about climate change
fan of myths and superheroes

love to vent, love reading vent pieces <3

get my stuff banned more times than I'd like :'(

Message from Writer

"I'm running away from my responsibilities
and it feels good."
- Michael Scott

questioning the system and then feeling helpless is a feature of the the teenage condition. so, apologies :)

i cried n i dunno why

July 3, 2021


mumma told me a guy was going to come down to our house to pick up the rose syrup. my grandpa bought it for this tradition thing, but it's not the brand we use. the guy would take it, give me groceries and ice cream, and deduct the syrup from our bill.

seems simple?

mumma started sleeping (she does this weird thing where she sleeps in the afternoon so she isn't sleep deprived) and so I took her phone out of her room; that way she isn't disturbed. then she calls me inside, I'm feeling sleepy, so I sleep near her. I put in my earphones and listen to a song on Spotify. 
it's 3:08. exactly eight minutes have passed since I've slept. dad calls me, in his usual panic-inducing tone, to tell me that the guy dropped the stuff at our house, the ice cream would melt if I don't go and pick it up right now. 
I go, only to find out the guy was gone. I couldn't give him the syrup.
I come inside, put everything where it should be. I stand still, scan the stove, look at the lighter, and start to cry. 
Why am I crying? there's no reason to my crying. sure I'm a little mad at the guy for not ringing the fricking doorbell. sure I'm a little intimidated by the questions we have to do at my coaching class. sure I'm having existential crises everyday. but I see no reason to be 'sad' per se.
I cried for only a moment but it felt like forever. like the world was pushing down on me, even though my life's been kind of ok. 
my mum and dad are going through much harder times, they don't randomly break down into tears.
why am I crying?
but the tears rush down my cheek like a salty, and rather ugly, waterfall.


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  • July 3, 2021 - 6:38am (Now Viewing)

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