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--> welcome to my vent blog

(but mainly in poems)

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--> hmu to be friends!

Message from Writer

--> tldr; writing is my therapy.

i joined this place years back because i love writing and used to write tons of fictional stories. i stopped for a while and published less often because i started to care too much about the likes and comments, but now i'm back with a different reason. there was a period of time i kept listening to musicals and whenever i was upset, i found it satisfying to rhyme words and get anything i want to say out into the open. it's mostly without much context (sometimes it's even hard to decode), but it really helped, so i keep doing it.

on another note, i swear i'm friendly, so drop me a comment if you need someone to talk to! :')

--> (and if you know me, no you don't.)

ilysmbidkhttybikydlmb

June 18, 2021

FREE WRITING

3
know this girl who's just amazing,
    i met her two years in the past;
        we didn't hit it off right away
    but we became friends that would last.

love her more than myself
    'cause she's always been there for me
        and she's my closest friend in the world
    and to me, she'll always be.

you wouldn't be able to understand
    by just reading these words
        because it's a bond that we forged deeply
    over the course of more than a year.

so many secrets that i tell her
    and she always, always listens
        and we talk about our interests
    as well as all of our ambitions.

much trouble came by
    but we always got through,
        by each other's sides, together,
    and gradually, time flew.

but i've started to think
    that she's not just a close friend,
        that after all that we've been through,
    i've fallen in love, in the end.

i don't want to ruin anything;
    i didn't even realise that
        i looked forward to her presence
    even when all we did was chat.

don't know how it came to this point
    or why i'm such a hopeless mess;
        thought that i loved someone else
    but now to myself, i confess:

know that she'll never love me
    but still, i'll always love her;
        platonically or otherwise,
    the line has smudged into a blur.

how do i hide these feelings?
    how do i chase them away?
        i know that she doesn't like me
    in that romantic sort of way.

to her, i'm just a friend,
    whom she cares deeply about,
        and i'll never be more than that;
    she didn't say it, but i don't doubt.

tell her that it's all platonic
    whenever i say her i love her,
        but i'm just lying to myself again
    and trying to get over her.

you know, she's amazing to me;
    no one's as kind and patient as her;
        we've never once fought,
    rather, we've always supported each other.

because we're best friends forever
    (i know i'll never be content),
        i'll never ever find another
    who shares my interests as she has.

i don't know what to do
    because i'm too scared to tell her
        and if i kept silent to myself
    would it be better for both of us?

know that she'll always be my friend
    even if that's all she'll be;
        i should be happy with that fact
    and yet the feelings still consume me.

you might think this is cliché
    but it's the hardest that i've fallen
        in love with someone in my life;
    now i feel like i've hit rock bottom.

don't want to ruin our friendship
    because it means to me;
        even if that means that i'll be stuck
    in broken pieces silently.

love you too much to risk it all
    and so i hope that you'll forgive me
        if i just pine from far away
    and never tell you how i am feeling.

me and you will never be
    and i've begun to accept that,
        so if i can have you as a best friend
    then i'll teach myself to be content.

back in my heart, i'll keep this secret,
    and it will never see the light;
        i love you so much (have i said that already?)
    and if you're my friend, i'll be alright.
;-;

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2 Comments
  • Paisley Blue

    Wow this poem blew me away. Its written so well. Not only that, I understand from the bottom of my heart and you put words to it so, so perfectly. This is amazing.


    4 months ago
  • katnissromanoff

    Oh. My. Gosh. I can't tell you how amazing this is. I honestly can't. This poem is so so beautifully written. It was so full of emotion and truth, and I really thought it was wonderful. I know that it's so hard when you love someone and they don't return it, but I hope it gets better for you :)


    4 months ago