United States

est. 10/15/20

existing is all i know how to do

Message to Readers

going to sleep away camp, it's going to be so much fun. sadly, there's no tech aloud (it's out in the woods and everything)... so i'll be back early july, will miss you all! <3<3<3

for the last time

June 12, 2021



sometimes i imagine
you write about me
at three a.m.
with sad music pouring through your
headphones and then when
it becomes too much
you switch to lorde
to remember all the things
that didn't happen
while you punch your pillow,
a tornado brewing inside;

and then i blink;
i might as well imagine
something worthwhile,
you know?

because i'm the one that writes about you
(not at three in the morning,
i could never stay up that late)
with fox academy pounding through 
my skull (lorde is reserved for 
special occasions) until
that is too much and i switch to sufjan stevens
(spoiler alert, it is a video and
we're all gonna die someday and
words are futile devices and
you'll never be alone with me)
while i suffocate under the duvet cover,
tears leaving little cuts across my face
/ in my face and
what could you have said to raise 
me from the dead? because you
are the life i needed all along and i have
loved you (if you could even call it that,
those three words turn to dust
in my mouth and i cough, i cough,
thrash my head, could never swallow
a pill to save my life) / all along
i've been lost to myself;
the first part of the last stanza are all song lyrics


See History
  • June 12, 2021 - 8:49am (Now Viewing)

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  • Paisley Blue

    Hey mir! Just wanted to stop by and say hello. Not sure when you leave for camp, so you might see this; but if you dont see this until July, I hope you've had a great couple of weeks! Thinking of you :))

    3 days ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    this… this is. wow.

    3 days ago
  • Rose Beta

    AHHH. Tears came into my eyes. I love Lorde too and when Lorde's music is playing in my room, everyone knows something is up and something about to go down.

    3 days ago
  • rwong

    re: awwww thank you so much mir!!!
    also seriously thought i commented on this when i liked? well fixing that rn haha i really loved this like theres so much emotion packed in it but its also so beautiful, also really really love how all the song lyrics just work together in the last stanza, its really really well written (echoing ell). luv you!!! <3 <3

    3 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Woahhhh the emotions in this just make me want to... pull my curtains and huddle in my bed covers and listen to sad music all day. This is very very well-written! Nice job <3

    4 days ago
  • Sophiascb

    lorde is reserved for special occasions- i love u now haha. but really, this whole piece is gorgeous!

    4 days ago