United States

est. 10/15/20

existing is all i know how to do

Message from Writer

i think i'm a broken umbrella?

"too dizzying to love anywhere
but from a distance
when we meet i hold your face in my hands
you smile like swelling yellow spring and plead
take me with you, finished thing"
-- a growing thing

“We could never have loved the earth so well if we had had no childhood in it, if it were not the earth where the same flowers come up again every spring that we used to gather with our tiny fingers… What novelty is worth that sweet monotony where everything is known and loved because it is known?”
-- George Elliot


June 10, 2021



tell me, what is this all for? 
and the sunrise, then the sunset. 
we’re crashing down into the deep blue sea, oh it’s beautiful, it’s a party, your birthday party. we’ll dine among the octopi, hide in the kelp forests, swim with the fish. around, around. confetti and cake and maybe even a pinata. what’s in it, you ask.
love, it is lies shrouded in clarity.

soon you’ll be taken to southwood plantation road where nothing stays buried. 
i was hopeful for so long, laughing up in the belfry with the bats, dancing in the moonlight.
but will i ever feel okay again? 
she’s an actress, oh my sweet love. it's always a costume party, yeah? well it’s fitting.
it’s your birthday.
so we’ll board the plane yet again and the pilot will apologize because that’s all that’s left to do and we will fall into the frigid ocean just like in my dream.

everything was strangely okay down there.
we outlived our fears and dreams and it was okay,
we are okay. even in the middle of the ocean after
the airplane went down and the pilot couldn't stop. sorry, i’m sorry, oh my god
i’m sorry. me, too
because it has to be like this and maybe we’ll
see it, we’ll see it. 
we will be nowhere and everywhere and it’s now.

i‘m scrawny, clothes strangling my body but at least
i have the coolest style and i’m ready for the party, the costume party.
you don’t have to change a thing though, always holding that
puppet of sadness up to your mascara stained cheeks. 
it will wash away down at the shore, down by the sea.

see you then, my love.
sunrise, sunset, nothing changes.
but i won’t stop running
from you, towards you. 
and all too soon its time to board
the airplane once more.
this is word vomit! okay, so there are so many references to songs here. lets see... "at the bottom of everything", "sunrise, sunset", "we are nowhere and its now" all by the bright eyes. then "southwood plantation road" and "the best ever death metal band out of denton" by the mountain goats. there's also "woodland" by the paper kites and "scrawny" by wallows. and i'm sorry, so sorry this probably makes absolutely no sense. <3<3<3


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  • June 10, 2021 - 3:14pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Rose Beta

    I lost my breath and soul reading this. Wow, really, wow. You didn't just kill this, you full-on murdered it!! I love it!

    4 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    wow.... gosh this is gorgeous.
    "love, it is lies shrouded in clarity." SUCH a stunning line, excuse me while i go pick up my jaw from the floor.
    "i have the coolest style and i’m ready for the party, the costume party." this line for some reason just keeps hitting me. i love love love this.
    and the ending! my GOODNESS mir! like wisp said, if THIS is your word vomit then....... wowwowwow. i have such a hard time tying images and metaphors together and you do it so seamlessly here--it just makes my mind spin with wonder. i love reading your words. you are truly an artist! wow.

    you have good reason to be proud of this!!

    7 days ago
  • rwong

    omg mirrrrrr no no this is not word vomit, this is literally so beautiful that it cant be word vomit no matter what you say. i agree with wisp, that's also my favorite line but a close second would be "everything was strangely okay down there. / we outlived our fears and dreams and it was okay, / we are okay." like the line its kinda mysterious and i can't really say the emotion behind this piece--frantic but not completely, heartbreaking but not fully, longing? i think that's what i'd call it but seriously this is so amazing and theres so much emotion asjdk;lf and i love love love it mir <3 <3 <3

    7 days ago
  • Wisp

    "we will fall into the frigid ocean just like in my dream."
    By far my favorite line. There's something about it that is just so whimsical, so heartbreakingly sincere and it evokes such an emotion, such a burst of something I can't place my finger on. And you call this word vomit, but it's simply divine. You move through images so fittingly and the flow just feels right, like nothing feels jumpy, it all has this kind of procession that makes sense and is soothing to the reader. I just adore this.

    7 days ago
  • Kasilee

    I love this everything flows together perfectly, good job!!!

    7 days ago