AJ - Izzy

Canada

How to write all of me in less than 10 seconds?

Hmm, let me think... how about DREAMER?

Yup. That works.

Message to Readers

Someone out there needs these words. I gotchu <3

Those Three Words

June 10, 2021

There's a reason
You can't say those three words,
Damned in place,
Screwed to your tongue,
Stutters, but no real words. 

There's a reason
And it's not them, that's a promise,
It's never been them
And it will never be them.
In fact
They are ones who gently nudge you
Towards the confidence to say it
Even if you don't know it.

No, the real reason
Is that you still don't believe
You deserve them.
You still don't believe
That they could see you, the real you,
And feel this feeling towards you,
This... love.
You still don't believe
Your worth is anything at all.
You still don't believe
That is their eyes, you are okay.
How do they not see, you ask yourself,
How do they not see 
My flaws,
My pain,
My burdens?

How do they not see
The suffering and the trail of breadcrumbs
I leave behind in my dark wake?

You question it everyday. 

How
Do
They
Not
See
It?


Listen.
You know that they are are going to say you are wrong
And you are going to be standing here
As I have before,
Heart slowly cracking,
Tears flowing fast and cold,
Hope disintegrating into nothing.
Just, tired.
And they are going to hug you
Say you're safe,
The burden lifted, but
Only for some time. 

You really want to say those words
Don't you?
Because that's how you feel,
That's what those butterflies are,
What that undying trust is,
What those happy, joyful feelings are
That plague you everyday you see
Their face.
You know that now.
But
It's hard.
Who are you kidding?
It's agonizingly hard.
Not the feeling,
But the saying,
Because you don't see yourself
How they see you.
You only see
Someone incapable
Of saying the simplest of things
And, maybe intentionally,
Holding back something that
Makes someone else,
That makes
Them
Hurt 
Inside.
And that's terrifying.

Those words
Are terrifying.
Those three words.

When will you finally build up the courage
And the faith that what they see is true,
And see that
You are not just a pile
Of endless, unworthy, crumbling pain,
And the faith
In yourself,
And in your worth,
When will you build just enough
To say
To the one person who is everything, a true and amazing treasure of kindness, of humour, of value,
When will you finally say...

I love you?




 

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  • June 10, 2021 - 4:29pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • Centaurus

    I love the emotional flow of this piece.


    8 days ago
  • Tachi

    words words magical words are making me feel thinggggggggggssssssssss
    I love your writing! They seem to just flow. You have such a way with words! C:


    9 days ago
  • Tachi

    re: I'm okay now, although that chair somehow made my loneliness worse. It happens when music isn't your forte and no one wants you in their group. Thank you for your kind words, I still have a lot to learn about writing though.


    9 days ago
  • Rose Beta

    Wow. Just wow. Beautiful work!


    10 days ago