Rose Beta

United States

She/they
Lesbean(penguin)
"I am not complete," Edward Scissorhands.
Michael Scott is my savior. I will forever be team Edward(also I would like to marry Alice).
Ice cream heals me and cats comfort me.
Like if you want loves<3

Message from Writer

- Bookworm- currently reading - If we were villains by M.L. Rio
- Favorite color- Brown (its warm)
- Weak ankles
- Favorite drink- Hibiscus tea
-Favorite genre- Romance/fantasy, Dystopian, Classics
-Favorite book-Frankenstein by Mary Shelly
"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information," Michael Scott. Your welcome.
(Leave comments on my work!!And review if you can!)

Dipsophobia: Rose Beta

June 7, 2021

     My knees are holding my chin as I sit against the building made of old cellphones that were forgotten once a newer model came out. Alcohol drips down from my chin as I lose focus of the wine bottle in my hand. It rests in my palm, oddly light, but the sound of the glass hits hard. The ground hadn't noticed the anti-depressants I added, and instead of flowers, brown weeds grew and died trailing my tiny feet. 
As I swallow the last bit of liquid I was holding in my mouth while it burned into my taste buds, I keep thinking that I might have made a mistake. My insides curl as they come hurling out. Acid and wine burn my throat on the way up. It feels strangely satisfying as saliva runs down my throat. I feel calm and overwhelmed at the same time as the vomit doesn't stop. I can feel my lungs inflate as I breathe and my tears start to fall; I feel my toes curl in delight, but the tears don't stop.
"Hey, let it all out. What did you take? Wait, you should share! It's only fair," a woman says as the vomit slowly stops. She helps bring me back up to my feet, holding all of my weight. My arms are numb and heavy against her shoulders but she doesn’t seem to care, in fact, she seems too drunk to care. I wonder when she will die like me, hopefully not before; I don’t want to be alone.
As she helps me sit, we squish all different kinds of flowers that were once people, but they were selfish and smoked or drank—but not both—and their bodies decomposed into a flower. I think about how selfish they were to do that and how many will miss them, but I don’t include myself. I am not selfish—I am selfless, I know that no one will miss me. I will not turn into a flower, though. If I am lucky, a patch of grass, but I will not become a rose or a lily or a daisy like so many others because I mixed the wine with the pills. I never thought that my indecisiveness would take away my chance of becoming something so beautiful. I want to die happy and a little tipsy at the same time, though.
“I like the red stuff on your face; they look nice,” she says, shocking me. I’ve always hated it. I freeze as her cold hands lightly caress the redness embedded on the sides of my jawline and under my eyelids. Her fingertips graze the bump in the middle of my nose. I don’t like being touched, but this is different—this is comforting.
I want to speak, but my gratitude is glued to the bottom of my mouth. I smile, though, and this time my gums don’t hurt, and this time I enjoy smiling.
“You should be happy! The pills always work!” she yells as she pulls the sides of my mouth wider, so my smile appears wider. “I’m Judith! Did you know that? I like your name too! E-L-I-Z-A-B-E-T-H!”
My stomach drops and we are no longer seated in a cemetery of colors. White walls appear and surround me leaving no place out, but it is somehow calming. A painting hangs on the wall—a painting of flowers, in all different colors but when one moves, I step back, terrified, only for it to be Judith standing next to me and tracing the painting with her fingertips. 
“I have always wanted to have a daughter named Elizabeth” she whispers. “Even though I can’t give birth since the hospitals prohibit it now, I would love to share a child with you.” She doesn’t sound tipsy, but serene—oddly, but beautifully serene. Her hands are back on my face and we are back on the flowers. 
I look at her face much more clearly now. I know that this is love but I do not understand how I could feel such things so fast. It feels as if I fell in love with her a very long time ago.
“A poet said, ‘Forever is composed of nows,’” Judith says and pulls me down to lay on the flowers beside her.
My stomach drops again. I am in a candle-lit room filled with bookshelves and  hearths on both sides of the room. Judith is there again. She is settled on my lap as she reads from a book.
“I love you, though,” she says as she puts the book down.
“I love you too, but I can promise that my presence will be forever,” I say and my fingers detangle the locks out of her light brown hair. “The same poet said, ‘If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.’”
“The scientists have already announced our new future. They claim that addicts like me will turn into a flower. They don’t want any more unstable people walking down the street. An addiction is an addiction no matter how much I love you, Elizabeth.”
I realize that this room is terrifyingly similar. A window to the right of the bed we are laying on, the smell of the burning wax from the candles that Judith used to love lighting. This is not just a room, I think as Judith straightens herself on my lap to kiss me—this was my home. 
This time my stomach doesn’t drop and I only feel my feet land as I am now holding an umbrella for the painful rain. I don’t see Judith, though. The only thing that is planted in front of me is a wild Prairie Trillium flower.
As I fall back onto the flowers, I remember everything. She died a long time ago, and I  fell in love with her a long time ago. I feel the tips of my fingers numb as I shrink into a small body of a flower, or maybe a tuft of grass.

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  • June 7, 2021 - 7:33pm (Now Viewing)

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32 Comments
  • barelybear

    What a great concept! You show her sadness and their beautiful relationship so gorgeously!
    Good luck!!


    3 days ago
  • The Secret Society of Purple Iguanas of Death Online

    Ooh! This is neat
    Also thank you for your comment


    4 days ago
  • sophie_simile

    wow. this is incredible!!
    re: aw thank you! :) happy to inspire nostalgia


    4 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: ahaha omg you should totally watch it :)
    okay byeee have a good day


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: ahahah no dw that was my question :)
    umm sooooo, i havnt exactly watched The office yet, so i didnt get your Nellie ref *embarrassed emoji* ive watched a few episodes, but i do have to watch the entire thing together. ahh i hope that wasnt a test, cuz i have 1000% failed XD
    umm so currently im watching the friends reunion and parks & recreation (awesome show by the way)


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: awwh :) alright thats cool! i shall do it for sure
    so... whatcha watching? :)


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    also, quick question... would you still like a review for this? tho i have to sleep in a bit, id love to give this a shot tomorrow.


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: oh my god. thank you so muchhh. *squeals* ahh ur just too kind ;)
    also, that is such a cute and baller quote. i loved it so much <3


    5 days ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    also I love Michael Scott so much too lol


    5 days ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    re: thank you so much :)


    5 days ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    this is
    I
    WOWOWOOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW OMG


    5 days ago
  • Awesome Sienna

    Re: Aww Thank you!


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: oops, *laughs*
    looks like your words make me forget we have company
    but yes, the children shouldn't be exposed. i'll go upload my piece, let me know if you like it


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: oh.... *grins*
    i bet you say that to ALL the girls


    5 days ago
  • Avril

    Oh wow this is super intriguing!! And also I loooove your profile picture hehehe


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: ahhhhh your comment was just so sweet. thank you! im happy you enjoyed the piece *blushes*
    also, i just woke up its like 9 in morning and you've been online all night! omg pls sleep, you must be tired :)


    5 days ago
  • astrea

    this piece feels ethereal! it's really good!
    re: thank you!


    5 days ago
  • julia.vasyakin

    re: thank you!!!! im glad you liked my work! I don't think I met you but its a pleasure!!!!

    this is so good too! incredible!!


    5 days ago
  • Ellington Stone

    Re: Aww, thanks!! This is really good too, very powerful.


    5 days ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Aw, tysm! There is a prologue too, just in case I forgot to put that in the footnotes. It is kind of important to the storyline so just wanted to make sure you knew about it XD I'm so flattered you like it!


    5 days ago
  • bhumi

    re : thanks!


    5 days ago
  • AJ - Izzy

    re: thank you so much! I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you, but it is a pleasure indeed :))
    also, this is incredible!! The emotions, the imagery, just wonderfully written


    5 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Incredible, oh my goodness!


    5 days ago
  • gabimarie

    re: thank you! i'm so glad you enjoyed it! it definitely sucks to be in this position, but we always grow from experiences like this.

    also, i'm going to have to disagree with you about team edward. i'm sorry, but HELLO team jacob forever like-


    5 days ago
  • lucida

    wow i absolutely have no words for this. you managed to capture so many emotions in this short piece, I love it! good luck in the competition!

    (also thank you so much for your comment on my story <3)


    5 days ago
  • Centaurus

    re: Thank you! You have amazing linguistic skills and I would love to see more.


    5 days ago
  • Jj101

    Re: Thank you so much for the kind words!!

    Ps this is great <3


    5 days ago
  • Nikki

    re: oh i think im gonna pass out. *silently squeals*

    ps: it would be a total pleasure to review this :)


    6 days ago
  • Nikki

    im just speechless.
    this was some of the best rollercoasters ive been on. it makes you feel sad and drunk and happy and sad again. i loved it. would you be okay if i review it?
    (hope im not being too forward)


    6 days ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Re: Thanks! BTW I love your profile picture.


    6 days ago
  • Destiny_the_writer

    Literally could not stop reading. You are incredibly talented and this story was profound in ways I'm not even sure i fully understand. Love it!


    6 days ago
  • ava_grace

    Wow, such a deep story!


    7 days ago