Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
you just want reviews
you don't want my comments
maybe you just hate the
thought of my bad writing
*to the tune of Attention by Charlie Puth*
I really like the fast-paced nature of this piece. The action grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go until the end, and leaves the reader wanting more! This is a compelling story and the reader develops a real emotional connection with your characters. The scene is vibrant and well-imagined. Overall, good job!
I love the idea of aliens, being a sci fi nerd myself. The Grialphines are very well-imagined characters, and the situation is a suspenseful one. Your invention of "vitre" was clever and quite appropriate, being that aliens would probably have their own types of weapons that humans do not.
I would expand upon the alien invasion a bit more, maybe a flashback to the invasion in Aliyah's perspective, or just simply an explanation of where they came from. I was also confused by why the Grialphines were killing the humans, and what criteria made a human worth saving. And why do they make the humans jump? I know that one thousand words is not a lot of space to world-build, and you did a very good job in that constraint.
Your story is captivating and your characters relatable. My one concern is that maybe you could use some more paragraph breaks in the story, but at the same time the nature of the spaces adds to the breakneck speed of the narrative. You have a very good and well-developed concept here. Yes, the reader has to "make a few leaps of faith", but that is to be expected in a short story. I would love to hear more of this!
Amazing job, and good luck in the competition! I hope my suggestions were helpful to you! God bless!
-July, a.k.a. Renegade_Writer