Peer Review by A. Penderwick (United States)

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A Piece of Pie

By: Brightness Eden


People say “A piece of cake,”
But what if you don’t like it;
Others say “Go break a leg,”
But I don’t really want to.
Some say, “It’s raining cats and dogs,”
But I don’t want to get scratched;

I finally get it!

If you don’t like cake
Eat pie
If you don’t want to get hurt
Be safe
If you don’t wat to get scratched
wish for birds
For they will bring you the happiness you deserve.
Things will fall or fly into place around you.
Or, for that matter, into your stomach.

I just ate pie and wanted to write about it. It was delicious. If you don’t like or can’t eat pie, im sorry. Get the cake or ice cream... or any dessert you deserve for that matter.

Message to Readers

Any feedback is helpful! Enjoy your writing!

Peer Review

This is such a fun little look at idioms, and the silly things they mean that we don't really think about. It also has such a positive feel, which I really like. A sort of "yay, let's just be nice, and have fun!" kind of feeling, which I really love. Aside from that, it's also written very well, which just makes the whole thing work.

I mentioned this in the highlighted parts, but I think you could add a section where the narrator tries to figure out why we say such weird things, and why they're sometimes negative. Again, I don't really think the piece needs it, it's great without it, but if you wanted to extend it, I think that's the most natural place to do it.

Reviewer Comments

This is such a fun poem, and was really fun to review! I know the review is a little out of the blue, but I just have a tendency to do that, and thought this piece looked so fun. It's amazing, and I hope this review was helpful, even just a little bit!