spectral

United States

黃愛莉
| she/her | chinese american |
memory & mortality & madness
and the player dreamed;
50~ Sept. 2020

Message to Readers

'and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream.'

eternal golden hour

May 10, 2021

FREE WRITING

17
Last night I dreamt I was on a train at eternal golden hour heading to a place I don't know. It was so real I swear I could feel the thrum of machinery when I fell awake. It seemed so lovely when I stood there among blurry faces and dirty sneakers. Maybe that's why it couldn't stay.

Last night I dreamt I was on a train at eternal golden hour heading to a place I don't remember. It was so real I swear I could feel the dripping sun when I fell awake. It seemed so still when I stood there among blank eyes and grimy seats, like flies in amber. Maybe that's why it couldn't start.

Last night I dreamt I was on a train at eternal golden hour heading to a place I don't think exists. It was so wrong, I swear the faceless passengers were taunting me by the time I fell awake. It seemed so terrifying when I stood there among those repressed memories with a name. Maybe that's why I was glad when I blinked awake.

And last night I dreamt I met myself on a train at eternal golden hour, heading to a place I don't want to find. Her face was vivid and out of everyone in that train, she was the only to meet my gaze. My reflection whispered a thought in my ear before passing by, yet when I fell awake the dream dissolved under my tongue. It seemed so lucid, and I wish I knew why.
i wonder what she had to say.

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5 Comments
  • vastexpansion

    This piece was so gorgeously written. Very well done.


    3 days ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Oh my goodness the way you carried the rhythmically repetitive format and then broke it is phenomenal. And "by the time I fell awake" is so astonishingly good that I whispered it aloud a few times after reading it.


    8 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    This feels like a dream, wow


    9 days ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Absolutely breathtaking. I love the repetition, it really emphasizes the whole dreamy vibe


    9 days ago
  • Tachi

    weird... I like your writing ^.^


    10 days ago