infp-a | 4w5

Message from Writer

"i am made of memories."
-madeline miller, the song of achilles

“for victory is victory, however small, nor is its worth only from what follows from it.”
-j.r.r. tolkien, the children of húrin

"he was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe.
which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.”
-terry pratchett, mort

o0 bubblegum imagination 0o

May 2, 2021


the bamboo-brown ceiling fan spins, 
thoughts and music and air all blowing around the room until it's a tornado.
it's sticky and hot on the ground,
but i lay there all the same,
a pile of laundry-fresh clothes underneath my head.
someone's knocking at the door, and i purposefully ignore them.
earbuds in, world out, imagination on.

i could daydream like this all day, if i was allowed to.
in my head, the world seems so much kinder --
or maybe i'm just brave enough to face the world in the first place.
the dreams are funny little critters themselves,
always twisting and turning and exploring the impossible.
they dare to defy the things i was once taught,
the things my mind just can't shake,
the things that fill me with guilt no matter what i tell myself.

i plaster my bubblegum onto the back of my teeth and pop it.
the camera of my mind resets for the next song,
transporting me into a new music video released only in the back of my eyes.
i remember you couldn't stop crying
you found me when i thought i was dying
believe me when i say
i tried so hard to change


escape can't hold me forever,
but i can try to make it last until infinity.
don't get me wrong; it doesn't chase the heaviness on my chest away,
nor does it fix the problems hiding inside the black backpack underneath my feet.
it does, however, plaster a big band-aid over it.
today, it's what i'll have to settle for --
at least until i wake up enough to choose life.


See History
  • May 2, 2021 - 10:14am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • YW_H

    wow, this piece is just amazing and i really like the way that you organized it!! you have so much talent and i hope you will let me know when more of your pieces are out! sending lots of love!

    5 days ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow, this is lovely. That first stanza actually reminds me of a poem I wrote a few months back called "ceaseless". And oh no I'm so sorry about your precious rat. <3

    7 days ago
  • rwong

    okay yes ik mir said this already but "earbuds in, world out, imagination on." amazing and this entire piece is beautiful and all the descriptions of just like disappearing from reality is honestly so relatable just ahhh also im really sorry you lost your pet rat so sending all my love <3 <3

    7 days ago
  • mirkat

    yes yes yes what paisley said the imagery is wonderful and "earbuds in, world out, imagination on." is spectacular and aw tuffy ok first i can totally see you with a pet rat and it really does hurt to lose a pet and life is unfair and it sucks and lots o love sent your way just now. <3<3<3

    7 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Ohhh i love this!! The image of lying on a pile of laundry and listening to music in your head... wow :)
    And I'm so sorry about your rat, its so hard to lose a pet :( sending you virtual hugs, okay?
    Re: if there's anything I can do, just let me know! I want to help and support you however I can. I'm doing well, opening night for our musical was Thursday so we're right in the midst of performances! They're so much fun.
    Hope your day is going well my dear <3

    7 days ago