anemoia by a thread

United States

WtW's resident "the cool cousin you see once a year, but the conversation you guys were having a long time ago picks up where it left off without missing a beat" (rosi)

Child of God
logophile
athletic nerd

Female
Soph.

Message to Readers

never again a sophomore track runner
never again a sophomore long jumper
never again to run the 4x100 with those people in that stadium against those teams in that lane
but someday again...
to PR in the 1600, to hit the 6 minute mile
to run a 4x400 that has never been faster
to jump, jump, jump maybe 14 feet
to run under 2:55 in the 800m
to set my own kind of records

if you didn't deduce it from this, i run the 1600 (my favorite!), the 800, the 4x400, and i long jump. today i had to fill in for the 4x100, which was actually a lot of fun. i'm one of those insane people who not only likes running for fun, but i like distance running. ;)
anyway... obviously track is why i've been so busy. that, and school.

never again this day; someday again tomorrow

May 1, 2021

FREE WRITING

12

    "Sometimes I think, isn't it sad, that we'll never be sixteen again? We'll never play on a JV team again. We'll never be sophomores again. And that really gets to me."

never again nineteen.
never again eighteen.
never again seventeen.
never again sixteen.
never again fifteen. 
never again fourteen.
never again thirteen.
never again this day.
once time has come and gone... 
it will never return.

hits me like a train
except i'm still standing, still here—
still half-breaking, half anguished, half nostalgic—
three halves, another sign that i'm cracking and
those years of honors math never added up to much.

what do we amount to after secondary, after high school, after teenagehood?
never again this day
do i have.

    "I'm not usually—what is it called? Sentimental? But that really gets me."

washes over me like a tidal wave
but still i remain on the shore, never straying—
never wavering, never questioning, never looking beyond
today, because i cannot, because today is
all i have 
never again this day.

never again to see the sun rise this morning.
never again to fall in love for the first time.
never again to close your eyes and lean in for the first time, two hearts pounding not quite in sync.
never again to graduate high school.
never again to be a freshman.
never again to play high school sports.
never again to learn from this teacher.
never again to get your driver's license for the first time.
never again this day.

but

someday again to see a new sunrise.
someday again to fall in love every morning.
someday again to close your eyes and lean in for the last time, two hearts beating in rhythm.
someday again to watch your loved ones graduate high school.
someday again to guide a freshman.
someday again to play your sport, high school or not.
someday again to learn from new teachers.
someday again to remember the joy of driving (and a decent new license photo).
someday again tomorrow.

"When you can't take it slow
'Cause time sure won't... 
No, you don't get to do some things again."

 
Quotes in italics paraphrased from my volleyball teammate, whose words hit close to home yesterday. She's unashamedly crazy and bold and hilarious and fun, something I've discovered only recently.
Quote in bold italics taken from Eric Church's song "Some of It," from the album Desperate Man, EMI Nashville Records.
One of my favorite songs of his, and the music video is superb.
Just some musings and thoughts. This piece was inspired by tiny_bee's piece "i do not want it fading."

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  • May 1, 2021 - 12:43am (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Jason_claire :)

    I think about this a lot. How time seems to move slowly, but the milestones rush by so fast. It never stops, life keeps going and everyone has to go with it.


    16 days ago
  • useless :)

    wow, i love this!!
    the message hit me hard haha, i've thought about this kind of stuff before, occasionally in a good way but most of the time pretty negatively, and i love how your poem ends on a positive note, it's really beautiful :)


    22 days ago
  • Khadeejah bint Malik

    Wow :D your piece makes one realise the importance of time and life. Very inspiring!! Beautiful!!


    22 days ago
  • doodleninja

    i am living for the wonderful philosophizing here XD this is such a beautiful, bittersweet piece! :)


    23 days ago
  • mirrors_are_windows

    I think about this all the time, and it's really disheartening. But I love the hopeful message about someday again. It makes the passage of time a little bit sweeter.


    23 days ago