Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

If I told you to check out this piece- check the footnotes. If I didn’t tell you to check out this piece- hope you’re having a great day but you may not want to read on cause it’ll be really boring!

Boring essay

April 22, 2021

FREE WRITING

4
“So as you can see, my great grandfather was interested in acquiring fine art. He liked impressionism, I prefer surrealism but oh well, now I have both.” Ms. Ruse said as she let out a booming laugh from her tiny body clothed in black silk and heavy diamonds. The grand clock in the corner came to life, gears grinding against each other signaling a new hour.
“Come now Elias, it’s teatime.”
Her sharp voice echoed around the hall, disturbing the tranquil scenes lining the walls. Elias followed Ms. Ruse out of the gallery into her tea room and took part in light conversation until the maid came with tea. Seated in an old bare chair, the wood pressed on his tailbone. It was more elegant from a distance.
“Oh, finally Gertrude, come on, hurry, I am feeling in such a daze right now.” Ms. Ruse’s hand flew to her face in feigned lightheadedness. Behind her was a window hidden by dusty cotton curtains.
The maid poured tea from a burgundy teapot. It looked antiquated, yet the paint didn’t have a single chip. In the center of the lid was a coiled green snake.
“Do you like it?”
Ms. Ruse gestured to the teapot.
“It’s very um, unique.”
“Hmm, the serpent on the top really does have its charm. It was commissioned, it’s been in the family for generations, you know, and the recipe for the tea even longer.”
“Recipe? You don’t just use a bag?”
“Good heavens, no. Why wouldn’t I have fresh if I can?”
Elias watched the tea come out, but it poured thicker than he thought and whooshed into the cup like a waterfall, anxious to escape. The pot’s bright colour seemed to reflect in the liquid because it had a bloody hue. Ms. Ruse scooped a heaping of sugar and stirred her tea with great clinks, not caring to preserve the fine china. The maid came over to pour Elias’ cup full as he made conversation,
“So, how did your family originally come by its wealth?”
Elias grabbed the cream and poured some in his cup, watching the swirls form into outstretched arms. He raised the tea to his mouth and ingested the murky flavoured water. Ms. Ruse looked up from her teacup to stare directly into his eyes. Her eyes looked less hazel and redder by the second, 
“Where do you think old money in America comes from?” 
She let out a tinkering laugh and returned to her slow, mechanical stirring.
Heheh, like the title? I didn't want anyone except y'all to click on it! XD
Ok so basically since you guys thought my idea was pretty cool I've decided to try writing a lot more of it and see if it could actually become a book. I've written just over 6000 words so far (I've only been writing for four days hehe) and I think it really could be because every time I write a little, more ideas come to my head! Most of it are scenes scattered throughout the book but like 2500 are in order from the beginning. I don't think I'm going to post it on here anymore because I don't want to run into any issues later on if I ever re-edit when I'm older and want to publish it someday (I knowwww, a suuuper long shot, but you never know with life :). So anyway, I'm thinking that I could share a doc with all of you who wanted to read it? (you could comment your email in a really old post and then I'll let you know as soon as I see it so you can delete it) And then if you guys have time, I would super appreciate it if you could make critiques (super harsh, I don't mind since I do hope that I can shape up my writing skills to be professional!) on it. They could be about anything from sentence structure, to plot, to characterization- anything that makes it not seem like a real book. You could also make edits straight on it (since it'll be in a suggesting mode and not the original copy) and answer some questions at the end like if there's anything major I could add (or need to for sake of clarity) or if I continue writing in the same style throughout or got really lazy after my first excerpt and now it's bad (honestly really scared about that)! (ahhh I feel like one tiny problem is that parts of it may only make sense once you read the whole book but anyways, those are concerns for another day XD) And if you don't have time to do that since it's basically a peer review, I completely understand as well and you can just read :). (also reminder, if you ever want me to peer review one of your pieces, I'm always up to!) Oh and also if you don't feel comfortable going on docs cause then I would see your emails, you can opt-out and no worries at all about that! Anyway, let me know :)

And can I just excited scream for a second because I've never felt so strongly about a book idea before, I've written a crazy amount so soon and I actually know the rough plot (I'm never one to plan haha and I actually didn't even plan this one, I randomly get ideas to flesh it out more as I write)! I actually haven't told anyone except y'all yet cause I don't know if I'm ever going to end up finishing it but I really hope I do because it's just so much fun, I feel like I'm reading it myself- except I get to choose how it plays out (so even better!!)

If you got through all of that, congratulations because wow, I do not shut up! XD Also loll, after getting a peer review I realized that the first part I wrote can be taken in a completely different way then I intended the story to play out so I feel like you all are going to be so surprised when you read more haha!

Oh and also a little bit more logistics: I'm thinking I'll share the first chapter will everyone who wants to today/tomorrow (time zones are weird). Then I'll wait like a week or two for those of you who can edit and answer the questions to before making the changes and sharing the next chapter. If I keep writing at the speed I am right now, I really think my first draft can be done before I share like the first 10 chapters or something! (watch me give up halfway XD)

Also let me know when you all have seen this (even if you decide to opt out) so I can remove this post! And I hope all that made sense but as you can probably see, I am very bad at explaining myself so feel free to ask for further clarification :)

Print

See History
  • April 22, 2021 - 3:20pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

11 Comments
  • Parisienne

    Heyyyy Nyla!!
    Geez I am so, so sorry for not replying sooner! A levels are next week so if I am not revising, I'm sleeping lol. But YAYSSSSS I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE CONTINUING THIS PIECE! I would love to be able to view your work and email - mine is beccaseb256@gmail.com. I think this plot and your writing is insanely good so the fact that you are so excited about it makes me really happy!!
    Hope you are having an amazing day and yayyyy so happy you have carried on writing this!!
    Becca <3


    5 months ago
  • Zirong

    ooo I love this idea so much! And I'm more than happy to be a reviewer of this amazing book-to-be! I have a few email addresses and I don't mind sharing one. I'll put it in a comment under an older piece of yours right after posting this! :)


    5 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Hey!! I’m so glad that you decided to expand on your idea and that the story writing process is going so well! I’m really truely very very VERY sorry, but I, too, don’t quite feel comfortable sharing my personal email online for privacy reasons :( I’m so sorry (and disappointed!) that I have to opt-out, but thanks for inviting me in the first place! If you ever decide to share it here on somewhere else, please let me know, because I really would love to read it! Wishing you all the best <3


    5 months ago
  • useless :)

    how...
    6,000 words in four days?! i'm over here struggling to put words onto paper, much less doing thatt. but good for you :D
    anyway, i'd like to help! i have an old email (not my personal one, i can't share that one for privacy reasons) that i made a while ago kinda as a joke and i don't use, but i think i remember my password and i don't mind sharing that email with you. i'll put it in the comments of an old piece :)


    5 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: No problem Nyla!


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Re: ;) I'm sure your story is very interesting!


    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Wow this is so cool!! I'm so glad you're feeling so inspired.
    I think like psithium, though, that I want to keep my email private, so unfortunately I guess I'll have to opt-out.
    But I would love to help out!! Is there any way you'd consider posting it here, and copy-pasting it on a google doc so you can get edits from both places? Because I would love to help you edit it!!
    Oh and thank you so much for your sweet comments. Ha I never thought if myself as a motivational speaker but I'm totally down with being one XD.


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Lol I just clicked on the title because I like boring stuff.

    That was a joke. Kind of.

    ;D


    5 months ago
  • Awesome Sienna

    Arhm, hi, just like Writing4Life said, ou didnt send this to me but I'm curious as to what the story is about, after reading all of the footnotes.


    5 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: I'm so sorry, but due to the fact that I want to keep my personal email private, I'm afraid I'm going to have to opt-out. I would love to read it, and I truly do love your work, but I would like to remain anonymous. <3


    5 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    heyyyy. I know you didn't send this to me (snooping on yellow sweater's post), but i is interested :) What is this story about?


    5 months ago