Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

:)

I love (a hallucination)

April 27, 2021

FREE WRITING

21
His eyes contain more nightmares than the lowest caverns of Earth;
and his hair more curves than the ocean at night;
he should be my worst fear but-
his hand is warm to the touch, like fresh cookies that have been cooling for a few minutes;
and his soft breath like a fall breeze makes my heart beat faster, faster, faster
until suddenly,
I can’t breathe,
and just like an angel in disguise,
he’s gone without a trace,
leaving only my 
b r o k e n
heart behind.
 

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16 Comments
  • Rachaelgrace

    Oh my goodness this is so beautiful. The formatting on the word broken is genius! And I love the metaphor for his touch.
    Re: Thank you so much! Yes, I run cross country :) Thats sad about soccer getting canceled because of Covid.


    5 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    This is such an amazing, strong, and powerful piece of writing! I really admire all of the word choices and I cannot get over the strength that you have with your descriptions. I cannot wait to see what else you write because you are such an amazing writer!


    5 months ago
  • Zirong

    "his hand is warm to the touch, like fresh cookies that have been cooling for a few minutes"

    "just like an angel in disguise,/he’s gone without a trace"

    aw this is so sweet but at the same time so heart-breaking. Amazing work as always!


    5 months ago
  • useless :)

    i love this!! the line break after "faster, faster, faster" is so clever, it really adds to what you wrote. i really like the ending too! :)
    re: no problem!
    ohh okay. thanks! ohh yeah my usernames for random games are interesting hehe. so for the doc, could you tell me what in particular you need help on?
    and aw thank you so much :D


    5 months ago
  • ArtisticCatbird2020

    Hello, Nyla! I hope you remember me; it's been a while! And dang... I haven't been here in ~1 month, and you've grown so. much. Super proud of you; you're so friendly and deserve every follower you have. ^w^
    Annnyyway, about your piece: "his hand is warm to the touch, like fresh cookies that have been cooling for a few minutes" LOVE this line!!! I was initially surprised by a lighthearted simile in a dark poem, but after rereading 2-3 times, I've realized it does a great job of enhancing contrast. Awesome detail!
    Also -- hope you're having a good Ramadan!


    5 months ago
  • Jay Shortz

    Nice descriptions and emotion, I definitely felt it, good piece. Also, love the repetition of "faster", that really helps set the pace of the reader, more immersive.
    Re: Yep, there are a few rappers that refrain from profanity and as far as I'm concerned they're better writers anyway. I mean I know that you believe it was God and not Mohammad, but that's another area we disagree on, it's an amazing book worth reading and learning from, but I don't consider it to be scripture.
    Either way my interpretation is the same as of the meaning, but I do want to know more from your understanding. Fair enough, as we both said most average followers aren't the most devout. I'd disagree with that about makeup being necessary, it's definitely a choice, but I understand what you're saying. There are a lot of things socially normal/expected that don't fall in line with what God says in both of our scriptures. I find it very admirable of anyone who chooses God over society, as He certainly matters more in the end, and I believe that is one of the biggest tests of this life, overall society not just makeup anyway. Your thoughts? Ooh "controversial", such a misused word these days, a debate site there will be two sides and you won't like one of them? What a surprise! Lol. You should definitely try it out if you can, I've had a lot of good discussions on there over a wide variety of topics.


    5 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: Oh haha I can definitely see that. XD Also, I'll check out your story tomorrow!


    5 months ago
  • Lata.B

    i-
    oh goodness wow


    5 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: Haha, that isn't really my first piece on wtw... I was on here under a different username for quite a long time, but in a wave of insecurity I unpublished everything I had on that account and started over with a new username. Since then I've changed my username and pfp yet again, but I think I've finally found my rhythm and my ~vibe~ if you know what I mean, lol.
    Oh I'd definitely be open to that! Do I just log into my computer as a guest to remain anonymous then? :)


    5 months ago
  • Avril

    Oh this is heartbreaking yet so incredible. The imagery at the beginning - wow! "His eyes contain more nightmares than the lowest caverns of earth" "his hand is warm to the touch , like fresh cookies that have been cooling for a long time". These are giving me goosebumps. I think this is a topic that is discussed a lot in literature but you described in such a unique way. I so admire it when people do that!
    RE: yes I also want to go somewhere tropical for a while!! But you're totally right, it's going to be hard to come back haha. And ooh the English countryside. That sounds so beautiful. I definitely agree that the country is a perfect place for artists (like us:). And whenever I see pictures of the countryside in England there's always sheep there which I find so cool! I have driven past many many farm fields in my time and I haven't seen sheep very often in Canada.


    5 months ago
  • aaliyahh

    oh my goodness nyla!! this is so incredible, it took my breath away. you did an AMAZING job!! <3


    5 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: Aww I love it! <3


    5 months ago
  • Ava Marie

    Re: Thank you!!! I didn't know it up until about a year ago so don't feel bad


    5 months ago
  • thriftstoreemilybrontë

    my phone buffing because i’m clicking follow too fast:


    5 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    FEEL THIS TO A T


    5 months ago
  • psithurism

    "and his soft breath like a fall breeze makes my heart beat faster, faster, faster
    until suddenly,
    I can’t breathe,"
    Oh my gosh Nyla you've done it again.


    5 months ago