crystalline•galaxies

Switzerland

tuffy
she/they
infp-a | 4w5

Message to Readers

i haven't tried rhyming poetry in a while.

what do you think?

girl in the butterfly wings

April 15, 2021

FREE WRITING

18
girl in the butterfly wings,
why aren't you flying away from here?
girl in the butterfly wings,
do you ever want to disappear?

the world is broken and hurt,
shadows chasing light out of the sky;
bloodstains cover your pink skirt,
yet i never seem to hear you cry.

is there something i can't see?
how much pain do you bury inside?
you could be gone, even free,
yet you choose to stay, suffer, and die.

perhaps one day i'll fathom
why you accept the world as it is;
you'll teach me mind and atom
to let go, return to states of bliss.

for now, i'll just sit and stare
and admire your spirit from afar;
the way you dance without care,
though your shoes conceal a scar.

girl in the butterfly wings,
why aren't you flying away from here?
girl in the butterfly wings,
do you ever want to disappear?
 

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13 Comments
  • Just_A_Memory

    Okay, that last stanza got me. Your writing is so beautiful!
    “ perhaps one day i'll fathom
    why you accept the world as it is; “
    “ girl in the butterfly wings,
    do you ever want to disappear? ”
    Some part of me wants to be the girl on butterfly wings, but I’d fly far, far away.

    Re: Tysm! It really does mean a lot!


    28 days ago
  • psithurism

    re: Thank you so, so much. Your comment was so encouraging and meant a whole lot to me. Ever since my friend, Paisley Blue, recommended your work to me awhile back I've been a fan. Your poetry is just fantastic and I can't even begin to describe how much I love it, so seeing such kind words come from you was incredible to me. Again, thank you. I hope you have a good day/night/whatever time it is in your timezone. :)


    29 days ago
  • Wisp

    Replying: "your writing makes me want to make a difference and i think that’s the most powerful weapon of all."
    That is one of the most tear-jerking things anyone has ever said about my writing. You know I've always wanted to write pieces that can resonate with people, and hearing you tell me that I achieved just that? It means more to me than anything Athena, it makes me feel accomplished as a writer and I cannot help but thank you for that. That piece meant a lot to me, and reading your comment just made me so endlessly happy. Thank you so so much hon.
    And yeah, totally get how you feel. Frustrates me to no end how messed up the world is, hopefully it'll begin to change in the coming years.


    about 1 month ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow I shivered reading this. It's achingly gorgeous.


    about 1 month ago
  • rwong

    re: ah yes i can see that...writer's block is bleh but i'm sure you'll get the flow back soon! i'm doing pretty well...school's doing the whole fluctuation of being super busy and then chill and then busy again so bleh but other than that it's pretty decent. hope you have a wonderful day!! <3 <3


    about 1 month ago
  • mirkat

    yes wow... exactly what ell said (very sophisticated rhyming poetry). almost sounds like a fairy tale or a little song like ring around the rosie (except not about the black death). just what others have said: powerful, fragile, whimsical. beautiful.
    re: ofc, tuffy. <3<3<3


    about 1 month ago
  • Paisley Blue

    this flows so well and i love this and you wrote it so perfectly!! i mean, it doesn't sound like a 2-year-old wrote it (which is what i sound like every time i try to write rhyming poetry) so congrats ;)
    re: thank you so, so much!! you're too sweet :) i'm really glad you liked my piece!!


    about 1 month ago
  • rwong

    woahhh okay okay wait tuffy this ~may~ be the first rhyming piece i've read from you (or maybe i have and i forgot...i'm like dory w much short term memory loss and just memory loss in general but that aside) i love how you have this flow and meter through it but also the rhymes are really natural like it doesn't feel really forced (which sometimes rhymes do)?? like that's what makes this so beautiful and then content-wise like i love the concept, like what wisp said its really whimsical and fragile and powerful at the same time?? sorry i dont seem to be making much sense tonight but this is really, really beautiful <3 <3
    re: ahhh tysm you're so sweet!! also don't worry about commenting...i do it all the time and feel bad bc i feel like i shld've responded earlier but yk i get it. life gets busy and all. anyway how have you been? sending love <3 <3


    about 1 month ago
  • Wisp

    I love the whimsical feel of this Athena. It feels so fairy-like, yet melancholic. I've never been able to do rhyming poetry, but gosh do you do it so well. This is beautiful and the rhyming just gives it a whole other ambiance. It's such a smooth piece and reading it felt soothing and calming in a way. I adore the whole imagery and I love how you take something as fragile as a butterfly and make it into something so undeniably powerful. Such a beautiful piece and gosh is it so wondrously vivid, so lovely to read.


    about 1 month ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Re: Haha, yeah. I have been known to be good at googling ;). My friends (who are also writers) and I compared search history. Someone had "where is the best place to stab someone". Don't worry, She writes adventure novels.


    about 1 month ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Re: From googling, I found a sight linking to a painting labeled "The Life of Fairies -Hans Zatzka". Apparently he was an Austrian painter who died in 1945.


    about 1 month ago
  • BizzleWrites

    I love it!! I really like the rhyme scheme and the stanzas and everything.
    Unrelated question, is your profile picture part of a famous painting? Which one? If I had to guess I would say it looks like a nymph from Ancient Greek mythology.
    Anyway, great work!


    about 1 month ago
  • Toikupu~estVehementChirography

    Awesome rhyming! Really works!


    about 1 month ago