Nors

United States

writer of stories and songs
the world is quiet here

Message to Readers

tips for making it smoother would be much appreciated!

viola

April 13, 2021

we are alone.
so don't try to tell me
that this group values us
because i can confidently say that
we don't matter
and i'll never believe
we don't live in a shadow
i've been told
we're too quiet
and i don't believe
people care.





 
THIS IS TO ALL MY VIOLA BUDDIES OUT THERE
STAY STRONG ;)

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  • April 13, 2021 - 10:09pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • SnowLeopard06

    I love how the two ways, backwards and forwards, say conflicting things, and I love how it all fits together.


    9 days ago
  • Remaking_The_World

    Very cool! I love the different perspectives!


    28 days ago
  • Nors

    Ah thanks! I'll fix that


    29 days ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Oh, actually I just realized you could actually get rid of one of the thats because it would still make sense if it says "I can confidently say we don't matter". Overall though, GREAT PIECE!!!


    29 days ago
  • BizzleWrites

    I love this, it's so clever! The one thing I noticed is that when you read the third and forth lines backwards, it says "that" twice in a row. I'm not sure if this matters, because it actually gives it a quite cool effect, so of course no pressure to change it. I just thought I'd point it out.


    29 days ago