rwong

United States

~average teen writer/poet~
Christian
lover of historical fiction books (especially WWII)
dog lover
pianist
musical lover

joined september 19, 2020

Message from Writer

say hi to my amazing wtw friends: mirkat, Paisley Blue, lochnessie, and SunV
and my irl friend: JMkittycat

"never dim the light that shines from within." - maya angelou
"poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." - robert frost
"all you have to do is write one true sentence. write the truest sentence that you know." - ernest hemingway

when people ask me if i'm tired

April 19, 2021

FREE WRITING

17
when people ask me if i’m tired:
 
i want to say insomnia has a really enchanting way
of cradling me beneath the warm moon glow
peeking in from behind my wooden shutters;
 
i want to say i’m not scared of the dark
so i’d rather watch the shadows dance around my room
for i, too, enjoy sidestepping the light;
 
i want to say i’ve tried to close my eyes
but i fear the monsters behind my eyelids--
past mistakes returning to haunt me;
 
i want to say i’ve tried to inhale deeply
but the air that flows into my shallow lungs
only remind me how much my world suffocates;
 
i want to say my nightmares often follow me
into the day so i’m scared to sleep at night
scared of what will arise in my mind when morning comes;
 
i want to say yes, i’m tired--
tired of holding back tears
and tired of crying,
tired of crying for help
and tired of waiting for a response that will never come,
tired of trying
and tired of failing,
most of all, i’m tired of lying each time you ask if i’m tired:
    just a little.
 
"are you okay?" "yea just a little tired."
side note: i'm actually fine, just...well...tired (literally lol i didn't get enough sleep and long days) and had to get this out. i don't actually have insomnia (people who do--if you're comfortable sharing, please let me know if i described it correctly!!)
also how are you guys?? sending all my love as usual <3 <3

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  • April 19, 2021 - 11:55pm (Now Viewing)

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13 Comments
  • Wisp

    Oh gosh, my heart aches reading this. You describe it with such poetic glory and yet it's such a heavy and tender topic, one that I'm sure all of us have felt at one point or another. Yet you describe it so beautifully and it's simply breathtaking.
    "i want to say insomnia has a really enchanting way
    of cradling me beneath the warm moon glow
    peeking in from behind my wooden shutters;"
    "i want to say my nightmares often follow me
    into the day so i’m scared to sleep at night
    scared of what will arise in my mind when morning comes;"
    My favorite lines of this piece and they just have such an inexplicable depth to them, they mean so much more than just words, they carve experiences and emotions into the readers' minds and that means so much. Because these words are so much more than just words, they're reassurances and gentle smiles and exhaustion and crying and panic attacks and just everything all at once. And to be able to capture that, simply divine.
    Replying: No no! Your suggestion is totally welcome! You shouldn't feel bad for offering your critique, because I wholeheartedly appreciate it, so there's no need to feel bad! And you didn't offend me in the slightest hon, so don't worry, you're an absolute sweetheart.
    Also this: "but you just gave us a voice"
    I am literally sobbing, you made my heart ache reading your comment and you made me smile beyond smiles. It was only just recently that I learned to embrace my identity as an Asian American, and slowly I've been trying to peel the band-aid off of the wound that has built with growing old. And I've been trying to find stories such as ours, so to hear that from another Asian American, you have no idea what that means. I truly cherish those words, for they mean so much to me, in all my years of writing, that is the grandest compliment I have ever received. Thank you so much for all your love and support, and I hope that with time our wounds will begin to heal. Sending my love!


    17 days ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    re: ahh thank you so much for your words!! <3 aww, wishing you the best of luck on everything!! oh wait, do you play any other instruments besides piano? and good luck on school and chinese! I know you'll ace it all! but, i hope it'll all cool down before summer break! has your day been well? (i suppose it's around lunch time since we're in cali ;))


    17 days ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    dadjkcydacakkhd! ahh! this is so breathtaking and lovely and enchanting and majestic and ajkdhsasjch. just the way you turn the question, "are you okay?" to something so poetic and eloquent just blows my mind! and the way you start each stanza with, "i want to..." just gives this poem some sort of longing?? yeah, my brain is kinda broken at the moment so i apologize if you don't understand my comment hahah :P
    re: kskalaskdj (wait i just realized that i smashed my keyboard like three times in this comment smh) anyway, tysm! okay hmm, i've been lazy and unmotivated to say the least. i've been getting more productive with my schoolwork and instruments and all, yet my sleep is still reduced. schoolwork has been manageable but we have lots of projects and filming, so that hasn't been really fun. uhmm, oh! our high school counselors had these one-on-one meeting with each of us to like ask about classes for high school and those sorts, and gosh it already makes high school seem so scary haha! hbu? <3


    18 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: sorry for the late response!!! thank you for your sweet comment on my piece, i'm really glad you liked it :) i had a lot of fun writing that one!! yeah school's not been too busy lately which i'm SO THANKFUL for because literally all of my life rn is our musical. like, yesterday we had a 6 hour rehearsal, friday was 5 hours, and on weekdays we stay after school from 3 - 6:30 now. next week it's 3 - 7:30. so i have absolutely no free time now. but it's all fun :) i've been in person for a couple weeks, it's good! i'm getting back into it. hbu?
    hoping you're having a wonderful day my friend :) all my love!


    18 days ago
  • psithurism

    re: Thank you! :)


    18 days ago
  • psithurism

    Oh my goodness, how have I not stumbled across your lovely profile before?
    "so i’d rather watch the shadows dance around my room
    for i, too, enjoy sidestepping the light;"
    Ahh, fantastic!


    19 days ago
  • SunV

    I don't know if what I have is actually called insomnia, but I do think I've always had a form of insomnia/hypersomnia. Hypersomnia is excessive tiredness in the day, and I've felt that, from almost dozing off once while teaching (not learning) the piano, and constantly craving my bed only hours after I get up.

    Insomnia on the other hand (again, I don't know if it's called insomnia) for me was more of the inability to fall asleep after I got up, and my getting up times were absurd. My alarm is usually set for 6:30 (because schools want us to be sleep-deprived haha) but I've always gotten up at around 12:30am, and not being able to go to sleep again, I'd either have to get up or sleep in really tiny intervals (so if I were to sleep at 12:45 again, I'd be awake by 1). And it didn't affect my life much until I had a bucketload more of schoolwork.

    Ooh.... This was a long message. I think in the end all I wanted to say was insomnia can be different for different people, at the end of the day it's just the inability to sleep.

    My views aren't medically verified, they're only my views.

    I hope you're having a good day!


    19 days ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Oh wow, this is amazing. I don’t have insomnia but I do have a lot of trouble sleeping, so I could definitely relate to parts of this. I love your formatting and figurative language! What a wonderful piece!


    19 days ago
  • happygiggles

    simply gorgeous. i do not know how else to put it.


    19 days ago
  • Ava Marie

    This is so good!!! I don't have insomnia, but I definitely don't get enough sleep. Anyways this is so beautiful everything about it is so delicate (if that makes sense)
    I am doing well, its sunny outside now so thats really nice. What about you, how are you doing?


    19 days ago
  • mirkat

    "i want to say insomnia has a really enchanting way
    of cradling me beneath the warm moon glow"
    this grabbed me such an eloquent way of describing insomnia and being awake at night... i had insomnia in fifth grade and my gosh it was not fun. i got panicky and would sometimes cry myself to sleep but somehow i got over it. oh and okay the end... it's just perfect how that works. "tired? just a little". ahhhh and yeah get all the feels from this <3<3<3


    20 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    yup, my go-to excuse for whenever my mom looks at me with that concerned expression that tells me she doesn't believe me (you know the one). honestly she does that to me even when i'm completely fine, or even happy! sigh... yeah. this piece is really beautiful -- almost reminds me of a lullaby, especially the first couple of stanzas!!
    how are you doing my friend? :)


    20 days ago
  • BizzleWrites

    This is really beautiful! I love the way you put the words together.
    To answer the "Also how are you guys?", I'd say I'm good. Well, other than procrastinating when I have a Humanities assignment for school that's due by like, the 20th, and instead of writing it writing a lot of bad poetry.
    ANyway, great piece!


    21 days ago