barelybear

United Kingdom

- she/her, INFJ-A
- musicals
- fantasy/dystopian fiction :)
- piano/trying (failing) at songwriting
- life goal = becoming fluent in le français
☕️
- est August 2020
They tell me I’m 16 but I’m sceptical
saying goodbye to the squirrel

Message from Writer

Beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes:
small, large, round, square ... stuffed crust, crispy, extra cheese ...

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

Writing4Life: The Adams to my King George

My big sis, the potato fanatic and utter genius: Parisienne <3

Feel free to comment a piece if you want a review - I actually love writing them haha ;)

The book currently residing in my heart: Code Name Verity
Has anyone read A Swim In A Pond In The Rain? (by George Saunders)

SHEPHERD’S PIE AND TEA! c:

Have an amazing day!

Charred

April 13, 2021

I am just old, feeble and charred.
with all you’ve seen, you couldn’t say 
I hold value, despite my scars
you barely glance over before you see 
my long-forgone complexion
the shuffle-tap of my cane as I hobble along
my eyes that wrinkle even when I’m frowning
I tell tales of love with
no emotion
why would you think that I have 
beauty 
when you know that each twitch of my hand is a thing of 
disease and corruption 
you look past the years of
fire, crackling and swelling inside me
instead you see 
the pain that gnaws at my bones 
you wouldn’t imagine, behind my exterior 
my candle still fights to burn. 

(Now read from the last line upwards)

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  • April 13, 2021 - 10:20am (Now Viewing)

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26 Comments
  • useless :)

    oh, also, do u need any pieces reviewed? i've been doing this peer review group thing bc it's kinda fun to review a couple pieces when they're assigned, but ur also supposed to have pieces you want to get reviewed and every time i can't think of any XD. i just saw a message saying u can also find someone else's piece needing to be reviewed, so if u needed any i could put those down so i have something, and someone (not me, but just someone on wtw) would review them.


    22 days ago
  • useless :)

    re: i'll need to get myself into shape whenever i apply for CAs haha, my current schedule would definitely not work. it's annoying, bc i'll have ideas and plan them out, but when it comes to actually starting a poem, my mind's like, nope. oh and for that lyric prompt i got the lyrics ready, which took a while, but i haven't gotten started on arranging them to form the poem yet.
    iLL dO iT tOmOrRoW. actually tho haha.
    oh, cool! my brother's a libra too, although he's late september. ohh nice, my brother's the opposite, if he'd literally been born a day later he would've been in sixth grade (right now he's in seventh) so he justt passed the cutout date. and i'm pretty much the average age for my grade, maybe a bit on the older side? and yeah lol, i'll be able to get my learner's when i'm 15. my mom can't seem to stop reminding me i'll be an absolute wreck on the road, (in a joking manner, i hope) but i'm highly determined to prove her wrong ;)
    ohh okay. yeah, that sounds fun!
    noo u left me on a hard one...how do i do 8? hmm. i shall prevail...
    uhh, huitrice? tis a combination of the languages :D
    for some reason that reminds me of a combination of the word oysters (in french) and rice. interesting.
    oh, i kinda do, just not with all cereals lol. there's a similar brand i used to get a lot and they were cornflakes and i liked them, so i'm not sure why i don't like frosties haha.
    yess i love both of those!
    sadly, no ahah. ohh yeah, it used to be the same for me in nyc. we start school in august rather than september here tho, so it makes up for it.
    ohh okay. noo lmao, it was good!
    hehe we love the shameless drops. and oh i'm so dumb haha, i've literally listened to that before, but i think it was before i knew your name. still, i probably could've made the connection *facepalm*
    btw eloise is also so pretty! :D
    the piece was amazing tho, and really funny!! also, i love your voice! british accents are cool haha :D
    meanwhile, i have a pretty boring voice, i think, and i sound younger than i am lol. LoVeLy.
    hehe, i assure you his "ahhh zabenyaasss" are horrific. and noo, ur voice is nice, seriously.
    oh lol. do you live in a more rural area, or close to a city?
    yeah haha. yup...gasp, college will be coming soon then. ahhh. and you'll already be there.
    hope you're having a great morning!! :D


    22 days ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    wow. *sees what day this was posted and gapes as he is so late* XD this is incredible!!! how did you get it to read both ways so beautifully... i applaud this. wow. great work :)


    22 days ago
  • Parisienne

    HOw ArE yoU SO TaLEnteD?????!! This is even better on a second reading I swear :)
    Re: ahhh thanks so much lil sis! The fact that you said my poem 'melted on your tongue' made me smile sooo much. Thank youuu! You are honestly the sweetest :))
    YOU SHOULD BE PROUD THIS POEM IS INCREDIBLE!! So, so amazing.
    Thank you for asking..I am a little weighed down with work rn as my A levels start this week.....ekkkkk. How is it going for you with GCSEs? Hope it's alright and pls just drop a ranting comment if you need someone to vent at. I still recall just how tough those exams were *looks wistfully back into the byegone days of her youth two years ago*. Take care and sending you loads of hugs and good luck!!
    Becca <3


    22 days ago
  • useless :)

    re: okay! i'll try haha. although if i don't want to find myself waiting in front of a blank screen a couple days from now i should probably start looking for the right lyrics soon. i think that'll be the part which takes longest.
    ohh cool! is it your bday month? sorry if you've already told me when your birthday is lol. oh that's nice.
    oh yeah, i should probably do more reviews bc that's what they look at, right?
    hehe we're continuing the sequence...sixuice. tbh, idk what that is, but voila thrice for number six.
    yess. i think the us can definitely be as sugary for breakfast, except less healthy. not that a croissant or pain au chocolat is healthy haha, but i've solely eaten cookies a couple times for breakfast. my favorite breakfast would probably be a smoothie tho, and that's healthy. yup, lucky charms are really good. my mom's hesitant about them, but will get them occasionally. ohh i know frosties. i don't really like them tho, maybe it's the taste of cornflake.
    indeed. well, i'm going back for high school, so soon-ish? this year i'm just waiting for summer to come lol, but we have to wait until late june to end our school year since it was originally delayed :(
    omg yess haha. and vice versa. the british teens would definitely do a much better job, bc the thing is, we don't really notice small imperfections when someone speaks since everyone sounds a bit different. and i guess that's how it is in the uk, just a lot of british accents sound the same here bc it's foreign to us. but i think it's easier to notice where someone goes wrong for british accents. maybe that's biased tho haha.
    ikr, those are horrible lol. exactly! they try so hard to fit a stereotype.
    ahah i don't know. ohh okay. i think i heard your voice once, like a while ago when you did your singing video, bc at the end you said something like, "sorry about that". that's kinda random XD, i'm not sure why i remember it.
    ahah the most recent prank call i made was with my brother, i didn't actually do the talking, and most of his were him screaming smth like, "AH ZABENYAAA" (the thing from the lion king lol). poor workers :(
    thanks :D
    ohh okay. so it's a little different for me, since i live in a condominium, but it's not like what you'd typically see when you search one up, since mine is a neighborhood and each complex-thingy is only two floors, so it's not a building next to the road or smth. so they're sort of houses, but not really? sorry if that's confusing lol, but it makes it so people can't actually put american flags in front since it's kinda a public area, but they can put them on their patio and balcony if they want. still, there's less in my neighborhood. but in general, yeah, there are a ton. and there are also usually a bunch of trump 2024 gatherings that you'll see driving by the street, which i'm not sure what the point of are, and they can be a bit annoying. not that i'm against them actually going there, they can do whatever they want lol. i normally wouldn't bring up anything political but since you live in the uk i figured you probably don't care about american politics haha.
    have a great day :D


    23 days ago
  • useless :)

    ohh also i kinda found a prompt that i think would be cool to try, but it seems hard haha. it's from the january grab bag and it's like, "write a poem using only song lyrics". i think i'll attempt it tmrw and see how it goes :D


    24 days ago
  • useless :)

    re: ah, okay. then if i don't wanna procrastinate forever i'll probably do it like next october or smth. mAyBe.
    hehe yes fancy words. what would be thrice but for four? quadrice? probably not haha. maybe it's just quadruple.
    yeah, he does. both of us do lol. except i have a bad habit of fishing for the marshmallows bc i'm more sugar-oriented than he is. agh idk what i'm saying anymore..."sugar-oriented".
    you don't have high sugar cerial? i express my most profound regrets to you...ahah seriously tho if my mom didn't stop me i'd be eating way too much sugary stuff on a daily basis.
    hehe i wanna see that happen so badly. i suppose i could try to ask my teacher if i could go to the "toilet" and then bring up the british accent in one of my classes, but my classmates are way too judgmental for that haha. everyone's online so even if i do know some ppl i don't wanna think about the rest who'd most certainly be laughing at me behind their computer screens.
    if you're asking whether i can do a british accent: yes
    if you're asking whether i can do a good one: nope
    well, i don't exactly know how to judge, i personally think it's okay since me and my friends once pranked a fast food place on the phone...the very unoriginal and not funny "cAn i hAvE a (food the restaurant doesn't serve) and then, "oH wAiT i fOrGoT tHiS wAs mCdOnAlDs iM sOrRy cAn I gEt a BiG mAc" when the store's like, burger king or something.
    it was a couple years ago ahah but i did it in a british accent and we thought it was pretty realistic...my brother's the one that thinks it sounds really bad, but oh well.
    ikr. we are now top tier comedians ;)
    very eloquently spoken haha
    have a great night/morning! :D


    24 days ago
  • useless :)

    that comment looks rlly strange...idk why i skipped a line every time i said smth haha. oh well. i forgot to ask, for the CA applications are there two every year or three every year?


    25 days ago
  • useless :)

    re: true. ohh yeah that's important to weigh in...when are the times that you apply? ik one of them is around january but the other one. aw thank you! :D
    and thanks for all the advice!
    noo don't fall for his tricks! it's all a facade...i tell you. he is eViL tO tHe cOrE.
    lolll imagine tho.
    teacher: ellie, what's the answer to number four?
    you: uhm...*does math problem and starts laughing like a lunatic* wait...2048?
    teacher: that is correct!
    you: ohh haha...2048. right. i suddenly need to go to the restroom.
    teacher: again?
    you: yes, it's an urgent matter.
    teacher: okay...
    you: *goes to restroom and happily plays a few rounds of cupcake 2048*
    hehe
    eXcUsE mE?
    i mean, fair, fair. it'd sound really weird if someone asked if they could "use the toilet" here, so, d i f f e r e n c e s
    lol yess. ooo i have a plan. film our escape from spain using our genius zipline-pool-thingy product, then proceed to air the mini-telenova to market worldwide and become millionaires :D
    ah, night. it's currently 2:20 pm ;D
    have a great day! :)


    25 days ago
  • serein

    re: thank you! <3


    25 days ago
  • serein

    O my gosh....seriously the best reverse poem I've ever seen. This amazes it is so beautiful!!


    26 days ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Wow. This is seriously amazing.


    26 days ago
  • useless :)

    re: oh okay! that's great :D
    if i end up doing it i probably won't apply the next time, but maybe the time after that. though that kinda has an "i'll do it tomorrow" feel to it, which never ends up happening for me haha, so maybe i should...idk.
    exactlyy.
    oh lol. ahah my brother's the one that likes to correct my grammar, not when i speak, but when i type. he has these rules" where abbreviations aren't allowed, so for a while he got mad if i said so much as "lol", or "ur" instead of "your". i think he's given up by now tho XD
    samee. or perhaps it's already vanished for me...there's no saving it now, so might as well hop on my computer and play some doge 2048 :D
    jk...unless.
    lol not playing in the restroom during an exam, that's desperation XD
    indeed ;) (his face isn't hairy haha)
    yup. i think we all need one of those zipline escape methods tbh. ahah yeah it was my finance academy at school. ooo yess, we should ;D
    have a great night/morning!!


    26 days ago
  • Nyla

    Oooh wow Ellie, this is one of the best reversible poems I've ever read. It flows so nicely both ways and isn't choppy at all!! (lol both parts of that sentence meant the same thing) And the message is of course very important- "when you know that each twitch of my hand is a thing of /beauty" -I absolutely loved those lines, idk what it is about them, it just seems so personal. And I love the use of fire two times (with the line talking about it and the candle line)

    RE: Awwwww thank youuuu!! HAHA no that wasn’t awkward at all- great job there Ellie. And haha yours was sooo much better though (and I am NOT just saying that- it was a really interesting idea and you wove in the villanelle part of it so well!) but awww thank you and HAHA I mean you are a writer!

    Ohhhhh that makes sense, oooh yeah, I like “He’s the tune in our song” a lot better, it makes more sense!!

    LOL, you’re lucky you have an English teacher who cares about the classics. Here it’s a bit different because obviously every class gets their own exam prepared by the teacher but I have some friends that had English teachers last year who refused to teach them Shakespear or read any of the classics LOL>.
    And haha, I knowww, I always think about that too because sometimes I write things unconsciously and don’t even realize until after and other times I try to weave it in so it really is a mystery. And awww yay!!
    HAHA!

    Lol yeah and wait, do you not have coursework for normal subjects? But ooh nice with the drama and music- I always wanted to learn music but alas, I am far from talented XD I did drama last year and I loved it, I would have continued but I wanted to try my hand at other things so I didn’t this year :( butttt anyways I still had fun baking cakes with hospitality- ngl it actually took me like a whole day to make a triple layer cake.

    LOLL HAHA, yesss they really should be, they’re awesome. And hahaaa, lolll, some “England things” will never leave to baffle me - like liking Marzipan EW (yes I will continue saying that until l brainwash you)

    Ahhh yes, not judging eating chocolate is the game changer XD and aww nice- hahaha, yeah I feel like any show with a lot of seasons has really amazing characters you just grow to love (hence my attachment to The Office- U.S. version- I can not for the life of me understand the English version loll)

    Hahah yesss!! We have to go! Oh my, two years ago I went to Disney World and I wanted to go to Universal so bad but I was the only Harry Potter fan in my family (my sister hadn’t read the books yet) and once we got there it was so hot and everyone was so tired from constantly walking at Disney that we didn’t get to go :( BUT, I will o someday so I’m just waiting for that!

    YESSS! And hahahah, he really is. Omg it’s Martin Freeman loll, Morgan Freeman was in Night of the Museum! (Amazing movie if you haven’t watched it btw!) But ewwww nooo, really? But yeah I love it!
    HAHA, wait that’s so cool! Wow Ellie, you’re really a celebrity, why have you been pretending you were a normal citizen this whole time? XD But ahhh see I kind of liked the show before Moriarty, when it was just a crime show haha.

    Awww yay and haha ooh so I guess my late reply worked wonders then XD HAHAHA yess, it really is! Um, so back to Milky Bars, what did they do to you? XDD

    Thank you!! You too!!


    26 days ago
  • useless :)

    re: de rien ;)
    ahah deadlines are my worst enemy as a procrastinator, so that'd probably be me. honestly, i'd love to know the answer to that question lol. but it turned out great, so it was worth it :D
    i truly do hehe. yeah haha, but stillll, it's really weird-tasting. the dry type is the only kind i don't like, which is probably why i don't like it in chocolate. the texture's kinda weird too lol.
    oh uh, wow XD. i have a little hole in my bedroom wall, bc every time i slammed my door it hit that one area. "every time i slammed my door" sounds pretty bad haha, i promise i don't regularly stomp off and slam my door, but i've lived here for a whileee now and i was kinda dramatic as a 10 yr old ;)
    very true :D
    samee. seriously tho, that was me every other business day during quarantine. i'm completely over online school by now haha, my attention span is sorta at an all time low...which is why starting school again will be fun :D
    YESS THE 2048 GAMES
    i literally used to play that alll the time last year lol. except instead of cupcake 2048 it was doge 2048. then my friend started playing it with me during free time in finance and we'd get so competitive over who could get further lmao
    ty ;)
    ah...ahem, me talking about being irrationally competitive right before you say that hehe. but true, i wouldn't ever play bad on purpose to make another team lose, that's just cruel lol. and unfair.
    eh...i wouldn't say that haha, we were far from the best on the team, but we were also 12 on a U15 team so we were the two youngest.
    as you should be :D
    yeah, definitely lol. ahhh i'm trying to picture that and it's very creepy...if i was a teacher i'd probably subtly excuse myself from the room and then make a run for it.
    np haha :D
    have a great morning/afternoon!


    27 days ago
  • Parisienne

    OMG LITTLE SIS THIS IS UTTERLY INCREDIBLE!!! I WISH I COULD LIKE IT SEVERAL TIMES!!!! One of the best things I have ever read Ellie...you are so talented!
    I hope you are eating chips somewhere lil sis...take care
    Becca <3


    28 days ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Yes indeed. You too <3


    28 days ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Oh my, this is absolutely amazing. I am astounded.


    28 days ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Awww tysm <33 That means a lot :) Ohhh I legit forgot about the whole turning thing, so I'm glad it worked out anyway! Aw tankieee <3 Oh gosh you shouldn't be! It's amazing!


    28 days ago
  • Mespotz

    This is incredible! When I read it from the top down, it makes so much sense that I figured you'd wrote it from the top down and THEN wrote it from the bottom up. I thought that the bottom up wouldn't make sense. But it made perfect sense, and I was like... your writing is so perfect, so natural and lovely, that I can't tell which way you wrote it from. This is insane.


    28 days ago
  • useless :)

    so this is what you meant when u said there was a poetry prompt ;)
    this is stunninggg
    wow. i completely agree with avril, the beginning was already amazing, but reading it backwards gave introduced a whole new side to the story, and i love how it shows that what you see is really just perspective. the contrast between the two readings is incredible! great job :D
    re: very true indeed. ahah exactlyy
    oh yeah, my mom makes such a good shrimp curry dish where the rice is made with coconut. the one thing i despise (maybe that's dramatic but u get the point) coconut with is chocolate...idk, they just don't mesh well together at all for me.
    i'm glad as well :D
    sameee. a montage of all the times i've hit my foot on a wall or chair or something would take...idk lol, a long time to play.
    oh and me walking+a book=recipe for disaster. i get so caught up in them sometimes that i don't realize i'm like, about to walk into a pole or smth. in fifth grade while we were walking to class i was reading and i actually did walk into a pole...i had to go the the nurse's office and everything lol. embarrassing myself at an early age :D
    haha same. or stressing bc i can't study (i have trouble with that, iDk wHy) and then eating chocolate to relieve the stress XD
    ohh okay lol. i don't think i missed any practices for my school team, but that's cause it was fun and i got to hang out with my friends in the meantime.
    for rec i had this one coach (same coach who laughed when we got put on the same team) who really didn't like me and one of my friends. we were also the best team in the league that season, so any time we weren't completely serious about winning a game, he didn't like it. there was this one game where the other team didn't have enough players to be allowed to play but my coach figured we'd win anyway, so he offered to give up two of his players for the other team...and gUeSs who he chose. maybe this is bad cause yk, team spirit, but i think the most satisfying moment of the season other than winning the playoffs was when we played with that team and gave our team the only defeat of the season :D
    then our coach started talking about how the game was unfair bc his daughter was unable to play and how she's the best player on our team so it just wasn't the same...go figure haha.
    she really is lol. yup, the tony one is for broadway.
    oh okay! :)
    ikrr. it was all over the place...yeah, i'm not sure i'd wanna find out tho haha. oh, someone i'm actually kinda scared of tho lol...there was a kid in my fourth grade class who was literally obsessed with bombs and death and stuff of that sort. he wouldn't EVER smile, like, at all, and i actually asked him why he wouldn't smile during the class picture, and he said he only smiled when people got hurt. this is a fourth graderrrr
    oh okay! will do :)
    thanks! have a good morning :D


    28 days ago
  • Avril

    Whoaaaa this is brilliant. After reading it from the beginning I loved it, but then when I read it backwards I was totally shook. Each line works so well either way and the format is incredibly effective. Reading it through forwards I imagine it's from the perspective of a stranger, maybe someone who is annoyed because this elderly person was in their way. Reading it backwards I imagine it being from the perspective of this person's grandchild - who sees their grandparent with admiration and cannot possibly imagine their pain. This is brilliant and so beautiful! I'm going to be thinking about this for a while.
    Re: thanks!! :) Yesss thinking of an idea is the hardest part for me too! That's why I haven't started yet haha.


    28 days ago
  • Writing4Life

    Ellieeeeeeeee this is amazing!


    28 days ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: thank you so so much, that means everyhting to me!!!!


    28 days ago
  • Khushboo Iqbal

    Excellent work...


    28 days ago
  • nolongeractive

    Hey, this piece is great!! Also, my new piece 'her' is out now!


    28 days ago