Peer Review by In Which Yaya Writes (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

nanas yellow towels

By: Love, Rose

I’ve always loved nanas yellow towels
They smelt sweet of spring 
And soft like unspoken sermons
It felt so cozy wrapped tight 
Around my scrawny bare body 
The mellow nature made me quiet 
And I would whisper through ebony strands 
Of water wrung hair
Still wet with calm nan would curse “my Lord”
At my youthful love for sodden strands 
That would hang over my shoulders
And drip dots of damp on my back
Like speckled buds of light in the coming night
My youngness then seemed exaggerated
As the sun licked yellow reflected on my skin
And the coarse fabric brought colour to my cheeks 
I’d lie on the floor and make a tent of my breath 
With the sun seeping in through minuscule openings 
And freckling my face
The hazy lemon of the towel stilled me 
And I smiled 
Then at my cunning and now at my childhood 
A childhood born on an English hillside -  at a  waistline of happiness 
Far away from the haggard breath and feud-filled faces that now haunt me

this is devoted to my nan and childhood

Message to Readers

thank you for reading as always

Peer Review

Um, yellow? That’s the best way I can describe happiness. The whole piece makes you feel warm and fuzzy, except the end line. It kinda adds a twinge of regret or bitter nostalgia at the end.

“And drip dots of damp on my back...” I love the alteration here, as well as how you described the water drops as “damp,” instead of “wet.” It has a really cool and unique ring to it.

I would like to hear more about your Nana. I know the towels are the center of the poem, but the towels belong to her.

You wore amazing poetry! I actually really like this and think it’s really sweet. Keep working hard!

Reviewer Comments

Remember all my suggestion are optional, and feel free to completely disregard them XD. Great job with the piece!