Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
To me, this poem was highly engaging and very mysterious. It grabbed my attention and didn’t let go, and I found myself constantly asking questions as I read. This is a good thing as it means that you piqued my interest and I was invested in storyline, but I think that a few too many of these questions were left unanswered.
“The death of winged soldiers and a colliding star”.
This is such an evocative and fascinating image! You don’t provide much explanation for this, but I think that in this particular instance it works quite well. I think it’s power is not necessarily in the image it creates, but the way the it portrays the enormity of the situation that has occurred and the fantastic setting.
This poem is very mysterious and intriguing, and that’s great. But I think it may be a little too vague and that it’s possible to keep that mysterious tone while providing some more details.
A little more elaboration could paint a clearer and more powerful picture of the scene, and any poetic device (e.g. similes, metaphors, imagery, sensory details) could help you with this.
I think one place in particular that you could elaborate is in the description of your characters. You described the setting - devastation, chaos and a dystopia - really well in this poem, but you didn’t really delve into the emotions of the Queen (or her acquaintance: the narrator) - rather, their feelings are only implied. Describing the emotions of your characters could add another layer of depth and impact to the piece.
This piece is really good, and very unique! I love the mysterious tone and dystopian theme! I also really liked the way you included lots of specific details to add an element of complexity and to engage the reader. I think that by elaborating a little more you could link together the fairly isolated details and images you have painted to create a fuller and more powerful poem. Good luck!
If anything I’ve written in this review doesn’t make sense or you have questions feel free to ask me!