Avril

Canada

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your front door."

seventeen years old
joined June 2020
follower of Jesus :)

I love to write reviews, so if you need one let me know in a comment on one of my pieces!

Message from Writer

Hey! Thanks for checking out my work! Feel free to let me know what you think.

Lost Little Lamb

April 10, 2021


1. A soft white lamb lay in the long grass.


2. A soft white lamb lay limp in the long grass. There was a smudge of dirt on one of its paws and a milk stain crusted yellow on its furry middle. 

Miles away, a little boy dumped the contents of a backpack onto the floor. 

Where’s Lamby? 


3.  A soft white lamb lay limp in the long grass. There was a smudge of dirt on one of its paws and a milk stain crusted yellow on its furry middle. The only thing preventing its plastic eyes from melting in the sun was the shade from an-oval shaped stone wedged in the ground.

Miles away, a little boy dumped the contents of a backpack onto the floor.

Where’s Lamby? His mother asked him.

I gave her to Leila. He met her eyes. Leila never got to have any toys.

Print

See History

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

7 Comments
  • Zirong

    oh yea and I love the alliteration in the title! :) You are so talented!


    21 days ago
  • Zirong

    I read this last week but didn't get to leave a comment, and here I am :) This is so so clever and well-crafted. Just like all the writers who commented below, I thought it was a real lamb at first too! And I can't agree more with Nyla that it's an incredible cliffhanger at the end! Wonderful work!


    21 days ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Hiatus)

    This is the sweetest, most heartbreaking piece... it’s so beautifully written, your descriptions are amazing. I-I can’t.... I don’t even know what to say. This is unbelievable. In the best way, of course.


    25 days ago
  • Nyla

    This piece is making me so emotional! I checked out this prompt the other day and you utilized it perfectly! You added so much depth and completely changed the perspective on the story by adding more. The description of the milk stain was just so descriptive it was awesome to read!! Also, saying "plastic eyes" was such a clever way to bring in that the lamb was a toy (especially since you said "limp" in the beginning which led me to believe it was alive and wounded), it wasn't outright saying it so it makes the reader feel smart (and I love that XD) The ending just completely opens this story up and if you ever ever write more please let me know because this story is just so sad and sweet. And of course the huge cliffhanger, why is the lamb laying in the grass? Who is Leila that even without toys she would leave her only one out there? (but all these questions are the good kind, not the ones that make you confused, the ones that make you want to read on)
    RE: Awww thank you so much Avril, I'm so glad you thought so!
    Awww of course, I'm so glad! Now you're making me gush all over and yours do too!!


    27 days ago
  • Lata.B

    Oh wow I love where you took this! <3


    27 days ago
  • birthdaycandles

    aha! i see what you did there! i thought the lamb was real at the start and then- wow you aced this prompt well done!


    28 days ago
  • Renegade_Writer [ChildOfGod]

    Oh this is so beautiful and emotional! Excuse me while I go cry! ( in the best way possible)


    28 days ago