Peer Review by In Which Yaya Writes (United States)

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dear society,

By: rwong

dear society,

hi. we need no introduction; you've been watching me since childhood--
once too young to understand, too small in a world so grand, too quiet to take a stand;
you were the first home i knew so i grew up believing home was never safe
for how can one be safe from your judging eyes?

you are a dictionary with messed-up definitions
where "cool" matters more than "kind," "trendy" more than "trusted,"
somehow i've lost myself in your maze of weighted words
pressing in on me from all sides so sometimes it's hard to breathe;

i've scoured your pages for the meaning of me:
there's a page on how you view me as though i'm some op-ed column
belonging on the back of the paper, scribbled with everyone's opinion except my own
stop pretending like you know me;

because i say whoever gave you the right to write my story was wrong--
i hold the pen, you may be the setting but i will use my own words
pulled not from your dictionary but from the stars,
for there true beauty lies, and only there can i find words all weighed the same.

i'm still learning to love the parts of me that you'll never see
scars still linger from when you tried to brand me "just another girl"
but know that i refuse to be molded into your norms that you say i must be
for the things that make me different are the things that make me.

so dear society, i have yet to find a way out of you but until then, i will look towards the stars for no two stars are alike, and i think to myself one day, that could be me.

ack this is aks;ldf not my best so all reviews appreciated!! will totally do review4review
hope y'all are well!! sending love <3 <3

Peer Review

The beginning of the poem is a bit depressing or sad. The way you describe society judging you is spot in, but that’s really not a happy thing. But the end of the poem— especially with the references to the stars— feels empowering in a sense, makes you feel happy or brave.

Definitely, “pulled not from your dictionary but from the stars...” That’s just beautiful! I love the contrast of the messed-up definitions and dictionary with cosmic words. It’s amazing!

I really can’t think of anything. I think you could describe the stars more if you wanted, but I think this is good the way it is.

Goshness, you are a great poetess! I absolutely love this. You really have a chance in the competition!

Reviewer Comments

Great job! I really hope this is helpful, but feel free to disregard everything I’ve just wrote XD.