Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Hey guys! I missed the expert review, so I'd *really* appreciate some critical reviews (or comments if that's all you can manage) on this piece. Feedback can be about anything, from wording to format to my performance.
Originally posted 4/9/2021
I think, when reading this spoken word, I got a very impactful meaning. It is evident to me that change is important and that it has to happen, but also we are unable to just blame the older generations for all of our problems. I finished reading this and felt a new sense of hope, and clear guidance. I think the end bit of advice, really helps end on a nice positive note.
"The future belongs to us until we hold it no more,"
This line is just beautiful, and holds so much power within it. It really makes me realize, that we will pass on someday, and won't live on this Earth forever. So, we have to do what we can, whilst we're here, that will help shape the future in the best possible way.
As I mentioned in my highlighted comments, there are a few phrases that I minorly struggled to fully grasp the meaning of, you will find more details on which lines when you go through the lines/words that have been highlighted. I feel that this piece has great metaphors and similes, and doesn't need an awful lot of sensory detail, due to the topic that it covers. Apart from my highlighted comments, I don't really have anything else to say here other than; well done!
This is amazing. I cannot believe the level of depth and knowledge that has been used in this spoken word. Phenomenal. I think with one more push, this could have high potential to be a real winning contender!!
Gorgeous piece altogether and your performance piece is just outstanding! Please note that, at the end of the day this is your writing and you don't have to take all my comments/suggestions on board! I truly look forward to seeing your final piece. (: