barelybear

United Kingdom

she/her, INFJ-A
musicals
fantasy/dystopian fiction
piano
life goal = becoming fluent in le français
☕️
est August 2020
community ambassador alum :D
They tell me I’m 16 but I’m sceptical
the squirrel is back!!

Message to Readers

Is the narrative clear?
Are there any places you think I could develop description or sensory language?

Runaway Bride

April 10, 2021

Here I am, standing in my white dress,
Hair curled with precision, I’m a vision of finesse,
In the other room a coterie of guests.
I’m impressed 
— that my heart has hammered such a mess
Inside my chest it’s like a high-stakes game of chess
64 squares
And 32 pieces 
And no room to second-guess 
No room to stress that I don’t belong 

Maybe I’m wrong, and it’s been him all along 
I’m just nervous, it’s the day: look away and move along 
He’s the tune, we’re the song
But he’s the bass and the chords
He makes up all of the words 
And I’m left - with the drums.
I’m the drums.
Steady beat buh-duh bum
Know the deal, make the meal
Keep our lives rolling on
When he makes a mistake 
Here to pick up the crumbs 
And all the while wondering how
To turn this house ‘to a home.

He’ll probably leave me, I know
Give a younger kid a go
But a Dad for a few years is better than none. 

So today, he’s the one. 
Sooo Carol Ann Duffy made a series of poems about female characters that were overlooked in parables and novels etc, and I was like yeah let’s do this. I mean the runaway bride is quite a major stock character, but I wanted to explore her depths a little. 
(I was gonna call it runaway bride until I realised she didn’t actually run. Oops haha) 

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10 Comments
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Aha thanks, I will! Haha oui :P Oui, oui :) Tout est bien! Ouais, tu aussi. Oh then, goodnight George! Oh haha thanks :P


    5 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    This is just purely outstanding!! You are so talented!


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    Oh my wow- the message in this was so sad and it was clear. Yeah, I love how you explored her depth instead of just saying she wasn't happy- you showed how she wasn't happy even though she tried to be. The ending is just so, wow, that phrasing is incredible. And the word "coterie " -I love that!
    RE (warning: half the message is just "haha" and "lol"): LOL, ok wait, I changed the name now cause you're soo right, I actually did it with her in mind, I just couldn't think of a name lol. And I also made the last sentence a bit clearer cause I realize it wasn't as ominous as I wanted to be- I did add symbolism in there for what the family gained their wealth from. And hopefully, now it's clear? Idk, maybe it's just me lolll. But anyways aww thank you!!
    HAHA lolll honestly! And awww yay! HAHA and aww but wait, still handkerchiefs! How proper and fancy! Nobody here has handkerchiefs- I doubt they even know what the word means *sob*.
    LOL that's so true though and HAHA yeahhh!

    Hahahaa yeah they really did. Oh my yeah! I know, I really thought Britain was the only country that invaded others for so long and didn't ever stop to think why Spanish (Spain imperialism lol) is a language across seas as well. And haha yeah they really were and yeah. And yeahhh, they're the places in the classics that are described so beautifully you just want to drop everything and head on over.

    Haha no you can't! But they can still be easier in some respects than short answer questions! And hahahaaa lolll "fun"! Yeah, it would be cool to see if American kids are lying or not about the difficulty lol.
    Haha nooo, it's the same thing everyone says, you're just grabbing at a straw already there. HAHAH lollll, no I love your Shakespearean line!!!
    Aww yeah and haha loll, hahahaa wow, really mixing up both of my fantasies (avengers. + Louis) XD

    Wait that's so cool!! Ooh maybe it's British and that's why all of my friends are always weirded out if my mum makes it when they come over haha. Lolll wait seriously? I mean, it's good but not THAT good.
    Haha, I think my mum only started making it a few years ago but wow, you're a real cauli baby (lol take on cali baby)
    Hahah and awww, you have a cat? How cute! What type and what's his/her name? Also haha I like cats but I prefer... dogs hehe.

    Thank you!! And haha, why wouldn't anybody wake up late on a weekend!
    Loll, I've actually never even seen one (I knowwww- I can't call myself Canadian XD) butttt I have seen large ice hockey players- they're everywhere- and I mean everywhere.

    Also question: would you rather be a wizard or a superhero? Explain.

    Nyla :D (ooh we're doing the smiley now, I see, you won't call me out for not paying attention XD)


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: I'm sure haha :P Thanks, I will! I'm pretty excited as it's like a PROPER version (omg the tickets were so expensive OwO) Haha ouais :P Comment allez-vous? Je suis ok :)


    6 months ago
  • barelybear

    Ahh turns out I didn’t save the title change :D


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Haha thanks :) Ohmygosh I was LEGIT about to say we should watch Hamilton together some time! Totally not like we live 15 thousand k's apart! Lmaooo :P But also memorizing song lyrics and musical lines are easyyyy.
    Ooh I'm so excited; my mum's taking me to a proper theatre production this month as an early b'day present. I've never been to one before so I'm super excited! And we've got rlly good seatssss.


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Hehe that's fine. I've done the exact same thing before! I have a terrrrible memory! Except when it comes to remembering lines...lol. I guess cause I actually like doing that! Thanks! Yeah you too :D
    -Ruth (hehe are we doing that now) (oh no it should be-)
    President J. Adams.


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Aaaaa this is awesome! The rhyme scheme is sooo good! Re: Oh didn't you know that? I feel like we have conversed in le Francais before, but maybe not! Awwww tysm! Ye that's what I was going for ;) And you are welcome my George.


    6 months ago
  • Tachi

    re: ahaha- maybe not-


    6 months ago
  • Tachi

    Im sorry but "But a Dad for a few years is better than none. "
    did you really write that-


    6 months ago