Refrains To My Past Selves

Dear not-quite-one-year-old me
That CT machine looks scary, I imagine that's true
Maybe it's just a spaceship
After all, you're going to be the first kid on the moon

Dear two-year-old me
The hill is the only way home, even if it looks steep
Don't close your eyes when the car climbs it
Open them, and look at the trees

Dear three-and-a-half-year-old me
You have a little brother! I know you hoped for a girl,
At least he won't steal your Barbies, will he?
He will steal your cars though

Dear four-year-old me
I know you don't like staying back at school
But mommy had to work, Daddy too
And you can spend time watching the kids in the pool

Dear five-and-three-quarters me
Moving isn't the worst thing ever
You'll make new friends
And the old ones will still be there

Dear seven-year-old me
I know you're shy, but making friends is fun
She's a good girl, and she's so much like you
All you have to do is ask for her name before the day is done

Dear eight-year-old me
It's okay to stand up for yourself
You have a voice
Use it

Dear nine-(almost ten)-year-old me
No one came to your birthday, but that's okay, it's a tiny detail in the plot
It doesn't matter, even if you invited every single one of your friends
You've got your violin, and your books, and that's all you need, is it not?

Dear ten-year-old me
It's only an assignment that hasn't been done
Please don't cry over incomplete homework
You're still you, have some fun

Dear eleven-year-old me
Ask Daddy if you can learn the piano
I see how you stare at it during violin class
And when he says you won't stick with it, you will.

Dear twelve-year-old me
There isn't any shame in not being able to dance
It's okay if you don't look as good as the others
All that matters is that you have fun

Dear thirteen-year-old me
I know how much you despise the violin
But keep at it, deep down, you love it
And isn't it your dream to play in Berlin?

Dear fourteen-year-old me
The world's pretty crazy right now
Honestly, being the cynical person you are, you thought you'd be dead by now
But you're not, so live

Dear fifteen-year-old me
You're only starting to make lasting friendships, I hope you keep them close, and your chin up
And focus on school, it's an important year, because there is so much for you to decide
I don't know what's going to happen, but whatever does, don't ever give up

Love,
Fourteen (and two-thirds) you