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Message to Readers
So, I really really want to submit a spoken word, but I just can't seem to get any rhythm to this (i've never done spoken word before + maybe this isn't meant to be performed) so I don't think I will. But I hope the written is enough....
It feels so reminiscent to me, and yet looking back and going forward in such a beautiful way.
"You're gonna be the first child on the moon, aren't you?"
This like speaks to me in such a deep way--looking back on childhood and just how it goes into life as you get older--you realize you can't be who ever you want to be, and that just goes with you wherever.
I would love to see/write an entire poem just from this line.
I feel like this is just near perfect. Some of the lines seem like they're a bit too lengthy, but not too much so. I feel like if you carried on with the vibes of the line I mentioned above, it would improve it even more.
I love love this piece. I think that it just hits all the emotions of growing up and looking back and forward at yourself.
I hope this is helpful!
Good luck in the competition,