Yellow Sweater

United States

Zinnia | she/her | bi | agnostic | 18 | WA

2021-2022 Seattle Youth Poet Laureate

Elitist Atlantic Subscriber (jk, but I do think the Atlantic does some awsome journalism)

I don't necessarily agree with my own assertions

Message to Readers

I added a video link. How is the flow? Do the transitions make sense? How is the ending? Does the weird form work? Is it congruent enough with the rest of the piece?

In the Blood of the Dying

April 7, 2021

Purpose: Mitochondria: measuring the minutes until I die:

I’m thrumming with a cellular audacity, like a puzzle that doesn’t know what to do with itself now that it’s cohesive.

Four years of hell are coming to a close, but my fingers are still skittering over the keyboard. I’m still writing about science class, still analyzing the cafeteria food.      

Materials & Procedure: Mitochondria: MiO beverage mix:

In chemistry, freshman year, we're freezing cream. Stupid-Boy embellishes his project with cherry flavored energy, spraying MiO all over his clinical-grade ice cream. I watch, aghast, as he reveals the true meaning of applied science: tie-dyed lab coats and pink desserts. 

I wish I’d eaten the pink ice cream. I wish I had enhanced my pubescent experiment with MiO. A high would have gotten me over high school.  

Data & Calculations: Mitochondria: M.E.

Chronically fatigued, exhaustion underpinned by desire. I am awake and praying and desperate. Pseudo-science says my cells need a reboot. A good dunking should do the trick. But I don’t want to drown my farandolae. 

When a supernova explodes, time wrinkles. God inhabits the center of each star, of each cell. We breathe hot steam on cold winter days. We turn the universe inside out when we pray.  

Error Analysis: Mitochondria: merry-a-go-round: 

My memories consume me with centrifugal force. Five years old, big with the shameless conviction that infinity is circular, with the secret knowledge that life is never-ending. 

Conclusion: What I wouldn’t give to be big again. 
Video Link:

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  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you! Hmm you could be right about that I have no clue. Maybe you could email WtW Hello and tell me what they say?

    ooh thanks hehe i was definitely passionate

    5 months ago
  • ~Zoe~

    re: Ok! I'll review it as soon as I have time :)

    5 months ago
  • useless :)

    wow! this piece is so unique, and the lab-report format is really cool! the conclusion is such an interesting way to end, and i loved the performance as well. i agree with anne blackwood, your enunication was great, and i think her critiques would be helpful! other than that, amazing job :)

    5 months ago
  • almost flora kane

    the way you've used these ideas that we learn of in school to create a piece of art works so well. who says art and science can't coexist? re: thank you for that revision. i didn't think of it:)

    5 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    re: SHE NEEDS TO WRITE A MEMOIR. YOU COULD WRITE IT TOGETHER (how's that for quality time?) or at least have her record her stories aloud so you can transcribe them. what an incredible grandmother!

    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you! I'm not glad you relate of course, but it is nice that someone understands exactly what I'm talking about.

    You're welcome!

    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Ooh I love your performance! You enunciate and emote very well. And of course you already know I love the piece itself. Critique: perhaps pause a little more, particularly between sections. There's power in silence. And, this is a hard one, but try not to have the same inflection for each line. I don't mean you sound monotone, not at all, it's just that it's easy for one's tone to become a tiny bit repetitive when monologuing.

    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Thought you might understand this feeling hehe

    5 months ago
  • Nyla

    Wow, I love this so much! The ending is just, such a way to end! This was my favourite part, "true meaning of applied science: tie-dyed lab coats and pink desserts. " I don't know why- it just spoke to me. And the format is so unique!
    RE: Yes! Teju Cole’s references are what caught me completely off guard and yes! Each sentence seems so carefully crafted yet it all flows so naturally, it’s like he’s talking which makes it quite quick to read.
    And awwww thank you so much, your comment and explanation of everything has helped me so much- and aw, you’re so sweet! I bet your work wasn’t terrible at all! I find that we seem to think our prior work was much more juvenile than it actually was (because we ca’t bear the thought we ever wrote so simply!) (haha, I’ve been so influenced by reading your pieces and everything you’ve recommended, here I am doing brackets with exclamation marks!)
    And no, everything you said was so not a ramble, it’s definitely helped me know that I’m not the only one who just feels the words rather than understands them often and oh my- that’s so profound! That’s so cool! And aww thank you again and yeah! I’m so glad for all your suggestions and will (with enough time) hopefully get to all of them. I really admire your writing style and thoughts and the way you seem to summarize so much in a digestible, eloquent packet of text and that would be amazing! Thank you!
    RE to the quote: Aww thank you! I’m so glad you liked it- I was just on a bike ride and kept thinking to myself using tons of words I didn’t understand but made myself feel smart and then I came up with that and stole my phone out of my pocket to post it while I waited for my sister to catch up!

    5 months ago
  • ArtCat

    OMG, I remember making ice cream in chemistry! XD

    5 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: <3

    5 months ago
  • Cosmogyral

    re: thank youuuuuu, tech. decal is not my forte,

    5 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    I love this!! Amazing twist on science reports!!

    5 months ago