barelybear

United Kingdom

she/her, INFJ-A
musicals
fantasy/dystopian fiction
piano
life goal = becoming fluent in le français
☕️
est August 2020
community ambassador alum :D
They tell me I’m 16 but I’m sceptical
the squirrel is back!!

Message to Readers

Well I tried something new... I do not think I am a budding poet laureate by any means, but feedback would still be useful, so that I can improve my range :D
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my take on this :)
Have a great day!

A Villain’s Villanelle

April 3, 2021

FREE WRITING

3
You’d think it would be fun, global domination. 
But every step, each grin, each day I find
It’s a honeyed, hungry, lost in ache sensation.  

It started when I caved to the temptation 
A twitch, a thought, a smirking plan outlined.
You’d think that would be that, global domination. 

You’d think that this, this fierce fixation
This urge to purge the world of humankind 
Would leave behind a sweet, honeyed sensation.
(Upon its completion, I’d have nothing less than adulation) 

But no, it’s just a gradual deflation,
Acidity and elation intertwined
Burning spite spiked through my global domination. 

Have you ever felt the flames of deep frustration?
As you feel your masterplan, your world, your mind
Grow lost in ache and hunger for sensation.

And with that goes all my careful calculation
The scheme I dreamed so starkly undermined
You’d think I’d have the world with domination 
Not hunger for this honeyed, warm sensation. 
I added a line, but still, love poems have nothing on me :D 

Fun fact: abouttt 3 weeks ago, my English teacher gave us an unseen poem and was like yay let’s analyse this! Oooh I’ll be super impressed if any of you know the form! 
The poem was One Art.
The form was vilanelle.
Back then, the naive young thing I was, I had no idea what it even was. 
The class swot (in)discreetly googled it then proclaimed her academic glory for the rest of the class to squirm under the greatness that was her blinding success. 
Not that I’m bitter, but like man that timing haha :p 

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  • April 3, 2021 - 4:23pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • nolongeractive

    Omg this is absolutely marvelous and I love how emotional it is! I really like the title and the piece is just in touch with your heart and it really shows! Amazing job!


    6 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    Also, redraft!! (Can you tell I had nothing to do in World History XD)
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/226603/version/479658


    6 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    wow, ok, alright, I see you, I see you---I love this insight to a villain's mind, and every single line is just *does those crazy cute cartoon heart eyes*. My one thing would be I don't love repeating the same word multiple times, so the repetition of sensation and domination were slightly off-putting for me. If you rewrite, think about using some of these....
    station, nation, cessation, starvation, damnation, duration, flirtation, I could go on :)


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    Wow, I love this!! The rhymes are just awesome and I mean really, the title just fits so well! I read this like 5 times, it just so beautifully explores the villain mindset and I mean, this is a whole story! And this is so crafted to a villains perspective like with "flames of frustration" like only a villain would say "flames"! And awww no that sucks! (is "swot" a British term?) RE: Awww thank you! You’re so sweet awww! HAHAH, that’s why I always respond when I’m on my computer (two windows hehe)
    Awww haha yes it does and haha lol! HAHA omg, let me re-read it right now. HAHA yesss- he is definitely my favourite now!
    Haha nice and yeah, we desperately needed one too lol. Did you end up going? (Responding to the ending) thank you! We had a great walk- in fact we went like an hour north to this smaller city and oh my, along the beginning of the hike there were a few poetry prompts! It was a little arty town! Haha, my mum nudged me to go take a look at them.

    Oooh lucky you! And haha, wait, let me Google real quick- ahhh yes she is! Oh my, well it’s ok, she’s an ex for a reason right? XDD Come on Ellie! Get your head in the game- you just got to find out his every move and oops, randomly bump into him in a little tea shop!

    Tsk tsk tsk, haha it’s all good! I never read the comics either but I did watch the cartoons since I was like 5 haha and HAHA, the end of Marvel movies are always the most confusing! Lol and Doctor Strange is one of the weirdest ones too haha and *sigh* I guess its ok XD

    HAHA, no, that’s why I said most lol (honestly, who likes Niall but yes, poor him)
    Oooh ok, that’s a decent list but Liam? So high? Ok my list used to be Louis, then Harry, then Zayn, then Liam, then Niall and then Harry and Louis switched when I got a bit older and then Harry grew out his hair or something and dropped way down the list and now it is Zayn, then Harry, then Louis, then Liam, then Niall. But I mean, at least we both agree where Niall should be XD
    HAHA, noooo, I just don’t get the hype at all! And oh no, please tell me you don’t still watch Riverdale! I mean the first two seasons were yes, pretty good. But I watched like two episodes of the third and gave up loll. Well anywaysss, agree to disagree (on Cole Sprouse- not the Riverdale thing, didn’t they start doing like a musical of it lol) also I’m just kidding, if you like Riverdale- keep watching it, I might judge you but I’m not gonna stop you XD

    HAHA loll I don’t remember it being that short! But yeah aww, it was so fun.

    Haha yes and HAHA nooo, I don’t think I can write yummy LOL
    HAHA, I am definitely travelling back in time to hand in that exact acrostic! Haha! Ok wait,
    Excellent
    Laryngitis
    Ostrich
    Iguana
    Sea
    Eggs
    There I did it!!!
    And awww, I totally agree! Talking with you is so fun! Hope you had a great day! :)


    6 months ago