Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Peer reviews welcome! Leave a comment on how this piece made you feel.
This was a really neat piece, it was awesome to see things from a bird’s (I think) point of view! I loved imagining flying and all the imagery!
You talk a lot about the clouds while flying and that’s awesome! But something which I think would be really awesome you could add would be how beautiful the scenery is from up there. You have one sentence about the forest and I think you could expand on it! If this is set in some alternate universe, you could hint at that in here. Or you could even make this a warning sign by showing a desolate earth or deforestation happening. Describing the ground can really add that little pop of life and intrigue to your piece!
I left a few highlights on some tiny things in the piece. I struggle with this a lot too, but with present tense, you don’t have to use -ing words all the time. You can use words that are in the present already. I left a highlight explaining this in use but another example could be, “driving” and “drives” are both in the present tense and it’s nice to switch up the type you use instead of strictly sticking to one or the other.
This was a really awesome piece and I loved reading it so much! Ultimately, feel free to ignore any/all of my feedback because I am just one reader’s opinion and you know your piece best! I hope this helped :)