Peer Review by Nyla (Canada)

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these here gravely callings

By: Love, Rose


FREE WRITING

I am walking through a graveyard at the time of night 
I’m a welcome intruder 
A reminder of life
Though there is feeling in my veins and thought in my lungs 
Many lie around here aware of what they have become 
I feel like a flower blooming in the dead of winter
The plants around me rejoice in my glory but still have to hold at their own shortcomings 
There is a strange peacefulness in these slow turnings 
As i walk on and see the moonlight reflect in these here gravely callings
I don't feel alive but i don't feel dead
I am the wind that leaves the living and lived to fend 
It is calm here which is a curious cause 
You would wonder that this rarity of an unstruck heart 
Would cause the dead to draw their tired eyes apart
and call out to whatever life is still sweet in their hearts
‘i am not ready to part’

this one time i had to walk back through a gravyeard to get home which was at night - that inspired this peice

Message to Readers

thanks for reading hope your having a good one
7/4/21


Peer Review

I really like how a lot of the lines have a nearness in syllables because it reads like rhymes, even when there are none.


I think you've done a really great job of explaining everything to do with this piece. Although if you really wanted to, you could definitely add more descriptions of the actual graveyard as you do really well with the feelings, there isn't too much setting the scene. You could describe anything like the rows of graves or the tombstones, really up to you but that would just help the reader really imagine this place a bit more. Of course, it's totally great right now as well!


Reviewer Comments

It's awesome that this is based on real-life- those pieces are always the best! I really loved this, I think there's a lot of descriptions throughout and a very haunting, melancholy feel. Great job :)