BriRiley

United States

Hi! Bri here!
She/her/15
LDS
Leo
Bookworm/Homeschooler ;)
Writer/Aspiring Author
In a crouton cult XD
Hopeless Romantic!
Narnian
Fairykind
Renegade/Lunar
Ravenclaw/Daughter of Athena
Est. 12/7/20

Message from Writer

I’m writing a book!! Its on google docs, and i would love some help! So writing wise that is mostly what ill be focusing on at the moment, so I won’t be very active. :)

I have an Etsy shop now! I would love any visitors even if you just check it out! XD It’s called TheEclecticReader. :D

And please check out my IRL friends SamRose and MillieBunn. And look out for my friend Ava Marie! (They are all amazing writers!)

Looking through a lese chapter one (pls review!!)

March 30, 2021

FREE WRITING

2
Chapter One: 
“Are we there yet?” Carter asked, peering out the front window, letting out an exaggerated yawn.
London rolled her eyes at her older brother; wondering if he wanted to get in trouble. She could tell that he was bored, not only because of the way he slumped in his chair, but also at the dull blue glow of his skin. And not to mention he had asked that question about a hundred times. 
Their mother, Mrs. Cottrell, turned in her seat, looked over her shoulder at him and said, “If you ask that one more time, we are dropping you off here and you can walk the rest of the way.” She said smiling sternly.
“I was just asking a question.” Carter mumbled under his breath, slumping back into his seat.
Trying not to feel victorious, London watched as the open fields surrounding their car zoomed by as they got nearer and nearer to their destination. They would arrive at their new home in a few hours, so that they could help around her uncle’s farm while her aunt was busy with two little children and an infant.
That was one of the main reasons that they were moving in the first place, though London’s parents said it would be a good experience for them all. London supposed it would be good to meet new people that thought they were witches. Or something.
London shifted slightly under her six year old  brother Enzo, who was leaning up against her. London lay back in her seat.
Besides, she thought, what was so weird about a family of people that could do “magic”. Her entire family had what they called ‘gifts’. Others might call it “VooDoo“ of some sorts. But London thought of it more as part of her, something in her very soul. Like in a book when the gods bestow gifts to non magical people, or something like that.
“Hey london,” her dad said from the front seat, what emotion am I feeling right now? He looked at her through the rearview mirror. 
London leaned forward in her seat looking at the yellow tinge of his skin, wondering if he was happy or excited. She decided to guess. 
“Hmm, I would say you are… excited?” 
“Correct!” Her dad said, giving her a wide smile.
“My turn!” Carter declared turning to her. 
London focused on the jumble of colors trying to decide on which one was most vibrant. She focused on the green that tinted his skin, interpreting it as carsickness. 
“You look like you’re about to throw up!” London said, scooting closer to her side of the car. 
That made everyone laugh, even Carter. 
This was London's favorite pastime, joking with her family and not caring what other people thought of them. 
London’s whole family for as far back as she was aware of, had been born with gifts. 
London had asked her parents once when she was five, why they had gifts when no one else did. And they had told her that her gift was something special meant for only her.
Mr. Cottrell and Carter's gift was being able to run three or so miles in a blink of an eye. Carter used to call himself the Flash when he was younger.
Mrs. Cottrell could make anything grow just by singing a few notes of any song of her choice.
When they had lived in Idaho, their backyard was covered in flowers from head to toe, with a huge vegetable garden in the center that grew food all year long..
That was before they decided to move. London just wished they didn’t have to move so far away from all their close friends. Well, except for London. There had never been kids her age in the neighborhood. When there were, they would stay for a year and then suddenly move away, leaving her in the same position, all alone.
Marking the book she had been reading before the interruption, London set it down. She brushed Enzo’s wavy red hair out of his face before laying her head back on the head rest. She laid there, feeling the car move on the bumpy road before falling into a light sleep.
^^^
Two hours later, London woke up to find the car pulling up to a three-story house. It was surrounded with trees as far as the eye could see. Sitting up and rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes, she leaned forward to get a better look. The house was a pretty shade of dark brown with white finishing on the windows and door.
“We are finally here!” Her dad said in a relieved voice, looking back at them and smiling.
London nudged Enzo awake and helped him sit up. She got out of the car and stretched her aching legs, a side effect of being in a car for hours on end.
“We are here.” London told Enzo helping him out of the car.
“Yay, he said rubbing at his eyes” and looking around them.
When London was sure that Enzo was awake enough that he wouldn’t fall over, she came and opened the trunk. Most of their things and furniture were in a moving van that wouldn’t be coming for three more days, since they would be staying at her uncle’s until they could move into their new house.
Pulling out her trunk, London dragged it to the front porch and set it down, looking around her at her new surroundings. The weather was warm with a slight breeze, leveling out the warmth.
London was just about to reach out and open the door when it flew open and two small figures ran out; wrapping her in a big bear hug. London was so surprised; she almost fell backwards onto the ground, but steadied herself just in time. She then recognized the curly red hair of the figures as her small cousins. Recovering from her initial shock, London returned their hug, squeezing them tightly.
When she loosened the hug, London looked down at her younger cousins; who peered up at her with happy glowing faces. (Quite literally in London’s eyes)
The older of the two was Cora; London’s cute seven year old cousin. Then there was Cora’s four-year old brother Dominic, both with the trademark red curly hair that ran in the Cottrell family. London had the same hair, but didn’t have the same eyes, blue, as the rest of her family, her eyes were a deep purple that turned pink in different lighting.
“London!” Dominic exclaimed. “You’re here!”
“It’s about time,” Cara said with a huge smile on her face.
“Well, how are my favorite cousins?” London asked with a wink.
Cara laughed, but Dominic said very seriously, “I’ve been very good today.”
“Mommy said that you wouldn’t be able to come stay with us if we were naughty.” Cara informed her.
“Well then, it’s a good thing you were not naughty, Dominic.” London told him, trying not to laugh as she picked up her suitcase. With Cara’s help she got it up the stairs and into her temporary bedroom.
When London and Cara returned outside, they bumped into her Uncle Haden and Aunt Rose, who was cradling a little baby in her arms.
“London!” She said, giving her a side hug.
“Is this her?” London asked, looking at her newest cousin.
“Yes,” Aunt Rose told her. “This is Emery Alisa Cottrell.”
“She is gorgeous.” London said, watching as Emery smiled up at her, showing big dimples in her cheeks.
Helping carry the bags into the house proved harder than they thought, but after an hour when they were successfully unpacked, they were given a tour around their Uncle Haden’s property.
He showed them his fields of corn, wheat, and the vegetable gardens full of all sorts of vegetables. They looked around for a while; looking at all the animals and helping feed the chickens until it became too hot to be outside any longer.  
On the way back to the house, London was looking at all the trees shadowing most of the ground, when she spotted a huge bird house in the trees.
“What lives there?” London asked curiously, pointing at a large bird cage in the tree.
“That’s the home of our barn owl Malus.” Her uncle told her, stopping next to the tree.
“But I call him Specs,” Cara said loudly, trying to make sure everyone heard her.
“I thought Malus meant ‘bad’ in latin.” London said, going onto tippy toes, trying to see inside the bird house.
“It does,” her Aunt Rose said, coming to stand next to her. “He was already named that when we adopted him.” Setting her hands on London's shoulder she steered her away from the trees walking back onto the dirt path leading back to the house.
London could tell her aunt was hiding something from her, but she couldn't see what was so secretive about an owl. 
London pushed it from her mind, deciding that it was that big of a deal.
^^^When they arrived back at the house, it was around lunch time, so they decided to have a picnic under the shady trees. London helped carry the food outside, setting it on the blanket before sitting down and helping herself to a muffin and chocolate milk. 
“London,” her Uncle Holden said, turning to her, “Your father said you like to read. I have a library in the attic. If you want, I could take you up there after we eat.”
London could see the excitement glowing on his skin, and smiled. 
“That would be great!” she said. This place is starting to get better and better, she thought, taking a bite of muffin.
^^^
When they had finished eating, London followed her uncle up the two flights of stairs to the attic. 
When they reached the top, they came to an old looking wooden door with moon engravings on the front. On the right side was an old-fashioned keyhole.
Her Uncle Haden walked up to the door, pulling a ring of keys out of his pocket. And selecting a key that matched the handle of the door, he slid in into the keyhole and turned it with his hand. Pulling on the handle, he shoved the door open, revealing a large room with books on every surface.
London stared, trying to take it all in from bottom to top. The room was simply glowing with colors.
Bookshelves lined the walls, with a reading nook in between. It was vaguely moon shaped, with pillows and blankets covered in stars. In the middle of the room was a giant table laden with books and a telescope turned up so as to look at the stars through a window in the ceiling. It was amazing.
“I keep it locked so the younger kids don’t come in and break anything.” Uncle Haden explained, Looking around. 
London could tell without having to look at him that her uncle took great pride in this room. And he had good reason to.
“This is amazing.” London said in awe.
She went into the room noticing for the first time the light blue that came from the books. As if they had emotions, but a little different almost like a magic glow.. But that can’t be right; books don’t have feelings. 
This had happened to london only once before when her mother had shown her a family heirloom that had been passed down for generations. But it had glowed a soft yellow matching the gold it was made out of. 
Opening one of the books on the table, london looked at the pages to see if they glowed also, but they were perfectly ordinary. London turned to ask her uncle about it, but he was not there. He had disappeared.
“Spookie,” London said with a shudder. 
Putting  the book back on the table, London exited the room, and peered over the banister looking down the flights of stairs. But her uncle wasn't there. But on the very top step was the key he had used to open the door, with a note next to it that said,
Use this wisely
London picked them up, setting them in her pocket before returning to the library.
One thing was for sure, London thought. This is no ordinary key, and these were no ordinary books.
If you have the time i would love a review! I'm hoping to one day publish this book, and i will listen to anything you suggest! Feel free to nitpick and give me suggestions for the future. This is going to be a 60,000 word book, i have 50,000 words at the moment, but i still have more to write. only the first chapter at a part of the second is on WtW rn. but im hoping to add the rest! Thanks and have a good day! 

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3 Comments
  • Cherrypie

    I couldn't stop reading it! Great job. My little brother's name is Enzo, so that made me smile. :)
    I think the line " “Yay, he said rubbing at his eyes” and looking around them.", has the quotation marks in the wrong place...
    Other than that it's great! I can't wait to read the rest!


    about 2 months ago
  • Nyla

    RE: Of course! If you could, a review on my piece "Night (extended)" would be awesome! Thanks so much :))


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    This was awesome!! I just left a review :))


    6 months ago