rwong

United States

~average teen writer/poet~
Christian
lover of historical fiction books (especially WWII)
dog lover
pianist
musical lover

joined september 19, 2020

Message from Writer

say hi to my amazing wtw friends: mirkat, Paisley Blue, lochnessie, and SunV
and my irl friend: JMkittycat

"never dim the light that shines from within." - maya angelou
"poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words." - robert frost
"all you have to do is write one true sentence. write the truest sentence that you know." - ernest hemingway

of late night conversations and vulnerability ii.

April 4, 2021

FREE WRITING

13

somedays i think i'm scared of myself ;
scared of my broken pieces and scared of my heart ; 
scared of looking in the mirror and scared of finding a stranger ;
scared of seeing and scared of being seen ;
scared being hurt and scared of hurting you ;
just / scared because i’m scared of myself ;
broken in far to many places and its ugly and i can't even look ;
i need to cover myself up because i'm far too shattered
and somedays i think i'm a monster / out of control ;
and if i can't deal with myself how can i expect the world to deal with me /
and not run away? 

you teach me acceptance and / accepting myself means being able to look at myself and smile // but do you know how hard it is to lift my eyes to the sight i call me / and even if somewhere deep down i've mustered the courage to // even my jaws hurt from smiling / plastered in one position and tell me when i can drop this smile that covers up a monstrosity // and even now you ask how i can hide?

hiding, dear friend, is an instinct i've been grown from
sneaking into the corners where no one can see
and i think i've grown accustomed to the darkness
because at least in the dark / everything looks the same
so i can show myself completely and no one will ever see
and it is only when we are blinded that we can put aside our differences
and accept each other for who we are / and it is this world
that i long to be in ; for in the darkness
everyone treats me like i'm whole.

but // just because you don’t want others to see your failures doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be seen.
of late night conversations and vulnerability i.
argh i said i would come out with part ii of this and it's been a week... *sigh* school gets busy even though i really wanna write.
btw not edited, so if there are any typos, sorry!!
anyway how are you guys?? sending loveee <3 <3 <3

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  • April 4, 2021 - 11:49am (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • Paisley Blue

    shelli this is brilliant. kdhfliguarhlfiry wow. i don't even know what to sayyy jdhflafuea i might come back later when i can speak with words and not dklsufiaweusrylfiery.
    lol

    re: hiiii!!! i've missed youuu!! i'm doing well, we just got a puppy and she's a lot rn but she's also adorable!! her name is Tully :) my older dog, Finn, doesn't really know what to think but he's warming up to her now that it's been a week. so. yeah!! that's all for me!! what about you?


    12 days ago
  • useless :)

    wow!
    this is so beautiful, and encompasses so much emotion...the paragraph about acceptance is just...ahh i love it.
    and these hit so hard-
    "scared of looking in the mirror and scared of finding a stranger ;
    scared of seeing and scared of being seen ;
    scared being hurt and scared of hurting you ;
    just / scared because i’m scared of myself ;"
    the simplicity of these lines make them so powerful, and just wow, the ending is incredible too...i should probably stop quoting now but oh welllll
    "that i long to be in ; for in the darkness
    everyone treats me like i'm whole."
    i love this so much too. honestly, i love the entire piece, it's gorgeous :)


    14 days ago
  • mirkat

    re: ha, yes thank you shelll. <3<3,3


    16 days ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    re: i’m glad you’re doing better! that’s good to hear. you liked the setting of that piece? i wasn’t so sure about it as i usually don’t do things like that, but i’m happy that it worked. i’m doing alright, to be honest. after today, i think i’ll be doing a little bit better (i have to break up with someone today, which is never fun).


    16 days ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    first off, oh my word! this piece is so stunning. everything in here is so raw and real and beautiful and there's something so special about it. also, can we talk about the title?! even the title is poetry.
    re: it's alright. i mean, feeling bad is part of life, right? also, how are you doing?


    16 days ago
  • mirkat

    okay wow i... this part hit so hard... it is one of those lines that describes your life so well that you believe in it, the concept and the bit of writing, with all your heart, even if you wish things were different?
    "and it is only when we are blinded that we can put aside our differences
    and accept each other for who we are / and it is this world
    that i long to be in ; for in the darkness
    everyone treats me like i'm whole.
    but // just because you don’t want others to see your failures doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be seen."
    ahhhhh okay ive read these lines maybe a million times. they are beautiful, truly. and that's another thing, i understand them in my own way and you in yours. i mean that's true for everything though ha okay well beyond these lines, this poem is raw and the imagery adds so much and it's a work of (messy, but no doubt beautiful) artwork.
    "just / scared because i’m scared of myself ;"
    also also this line just sums up so much and could be a poem in itself. i dont know... i know its not all fancy or whatnot but i relate so much. it's these fluid moods, fluid emotions you know? yeah.
    re: ha, i was trying to accomplish that... like you said an overview of the whole scene, ruins, and then little close up parts sorta. glad it worked! ;) yes sending love to you too! <3<3<3


    18 days ago