HeyThereRose

United Kingdom

17
welsh
perpetual state of confusion
probably procrastinating
nothing is real
have a good day
she/her

Message to Readers

our english assessment is after half term and our question is (probably) describe a jungle (15 minutes, 200 words ish)
this is a practice i just did
feedback welcomed (:

description (English revision, feedback appreciated)

March 30, 2021

FREE WRITING

6
A young orangutan cries out. Bitterly. Heart-retching. It is a sound of despair. He clings, bright battered body trembling slightly, to the top of a lone tree. Somewhere a bird caws, joining in with the pitiful song.  A flash of feathers, pure white, magnificent, can be seen in the sky before the bird falls, writhing, to the ground.

The orangutan surveys his jungle, his home, with wide eyes.It is unrecognisable. A wasteland. Felled trees lie like burnt out matches, the undergrowth is silent, bar the sound of a few fleeing feet, and the sky is grey.

This is a ghost town. A cementery. A rancid, unnatural smell clogs the orangutans lungs, a smell he can't quite place. Like all the goodness of the jungle had been sucked up and inverted and spewed out. It is the smell of destruction. The oragutan is tiring, and the tree is tiring. Neither realise they are the last, but they suspect it. It feels empty. The sky is grey. The sun is sinking.

Print

See History
2

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

5 Comments
  • Nyla

    oooh I really like this- and the ending is really powerful!


    6 months ago
  • V-Rose

    Hey! I just left a review!


    6 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    I love this description so much! Also, I am so jealous that this is your English assessment. mine are always read its passage and answer a bun of multiple-choice questions.


    6 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    My favourite lines are:
    "Neither realise they are the last, but they suspect it. "
    "A flash of feathers, pure white, magnificent, can be seen in the sky before the bird falls, writhing, to the ground."
    "Felled trees lie like burnt out matches, the undergrowth is silent, bar the sound of a few fleeing feet, and the sky is grey."
    This has a lot of emotion. It is heart breaking and makes me want to cry out for the poor orangutan. I think you have done a great job on a sad topic. I like how the question is describe a jungle and you went in the direction of deforestation. It gives a clear and extremely sad message. Wonderful job!


    6 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    OMG I LIVE for these descriptions! This is so freaking sad!


    6 months ago