Peer Review by ariii (Singapore)

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If You Could Grab An Angel By The Throat What Would You Say To It Before It Scorches The Skin of Your Palms?

By: PouringOutTheSun


FREE WRITING

11/03/21

let me tell you a secret.

sometimes, when i look at the sky, colours that do not exist blur together in it like a kaleidoscope. someday in the depths of summer i will stick my sunburned arm into the core of a rotting log and pull out a heart, still beating. someday, with this peeling, skin-shine arm, i will hold this heart to the sky so viciously, just to see if the colours will calm at the sight of it.

let me tell you a secret; they will not.  if anything the colours will get louder. and i will take this dripping, gored organ and place it back within the trunk i ripped it from. ahead of me, the forest will light up again, pull itself back up from the dredges of the earth and let me tell you a secret, for a moment i will feel good about myself. 

let me tell you a secret, i think i’ve just realized i’m not all that. i’m leaning out into the dank air of the night, the silver of the moon like a ghost against my skin, and i realize i can’t grasp that part of the human experience well enough.

let me tell you a secret, i have changed this ending already. it used to be a sharp-eyed thing, poisonous and pulsing bright-green. but i’m okay, i don’t feel so hopeless about how i fit into the whole wide world now. 

let me tell you a secret, i wish i was not from earth. 

‘let me tell you a secret’ bit and successive repetition taken from a poem i liked quite a while back. the rest of the words are mine, if the thought of that is to make you feel a certain way. honestly, i hate that i keep coming back here but hello, how do you do

Message to Readers

hey x


Peer Review

I love the repetition of "let me tell you a secret" because it brought the whole piece together and it made the piece very coherent. I think that the vividness of this piece is something I admire and hope I can achieve one day


I would like to know why you feel the way you feel,, why the fear


Reviewer Comments

ur footnote is so cute hey I hope u keep writing please never stop

- from half across the world,, ari