Peer Review by Nyla (Canada)

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A State of Confusion

By: astrea


FREE WRITING

Sometimes I don't know what I believe in.

My morals and values clash, rather loudly.

How do you know something is right,

And something is wrong?

They are, after all,  someone else's ingrained values and moral, not yours...


Peer Review

I love the description of morals and values clashing loudly. The whole message behind the piece is one that I think a lot of people feel or think about. Honestly, this would make a really great intro to a book from the perspective of a criminal!


I'm not sure there's anything else to add on, I like the conciseness of this and I think you get to the point really well! If you wanted to expand, you could possibly add on to the last sentence and describe how they're ingrained. Like deep in your brain like seeds growing over the years or something weird like that. That way you would continue having that imagery you had in the beginning. But that's completely just an idea.


Reviewer Comments

This was a brilliant, really true piece and I loved the simplicity of it and the double-spacing!! Feel free to ignore my comments as ultimately you know your piece the best and I am just giving you one reader's opinion. It was a really amazing piece! Great job!