~madeline~

United States

euphoria fashioned from stanzas of

disillusionment

est. 8.19.20

Message from Writer

madeline3.14159

'we meet no ordinary
people in our lives.'
~c.s. lewis~

if i leave its only because i'm afraid you'll leave first.

March 26, 2021

FREE WRITING

12


i catch myself slipping away because i'm afraid i'm to fragile to handle the inevitable rejection.
    i'm not good enough for you and when you realize that too,
you'll be gone.

and then i will spiral because someone else finally realized how inadequate i am.
    
they complement me, tell me i'm "talented", but they're just being nice. 

and i know you'll leave, because everyone does eventually, "people grow apart".
    so i'll just leave and hope that i don't break you because if you left it would break me.
    
so go ahead and tell me that all of these things i'm thinking aren't real, not everyone leaves.
    or maybe you'll go the route of telling me i'm beautiful and talented, either way i don't believe you. 

and maybe i'm just degrading myself to beg for attention. am i?
    maybe i'm just lonely and i want to make a friend. am i?

either way i wouldn't go near me if i were you because chances are i'll slip away.
    at the slightest hint of disinterest i'll slide away so 
you don't have to be the mean one.

you don't have to be the abandoner, and i don't need to feel broken
    until i realize that i have broken something that didn't need to be broken
, and all because of fear

i thought i was doing us both a favor, thought i was getting something done
but i miss you and i'm afraid. will i ever be able to stop leaving?
 
please don't read too much into this. :)

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4 Comments
  • ArtisticCatbird2020

    Ah, I can relate....
    You did a great job encapsulating these feelings without sounding overly sad/whiny. The narrator's tone is more... vaguely lost, which gives your piece a different vibe. Nice work. :)


    about 2 months ago
  • BriRiley

    I get this! And the third line is so heartfelt! XD this is beautiful! And it has a really important message:D


    about 2 months ago
  • ChimChim_1

    This piece really is different when you listen to a sad song reading it. Good job!


    about 2 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    This is really well written! Sad, anxious, but good.


    about 2 months ago