Peer Review by Nyla (Canada)

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Who I Am

By: V-Rose


FREE WRITING

Ask me who I am
I dare you.
I am not just a girl.
I am not just smart.
I am not just quiet.

I am a girl who believes
that men are not
evil
held as superior
holding women down.

No man in my life
has ever tried to hold me down.
My dad has pushed me up.
My grandfather has taught me so much.
My brothers have been my best friends.

I am smart because I choose
not to listen to just
the television
the internet
social media.

I have spent so much time
listening to what makes sense.
I have learned logic.
I have learned honesty.
I have learned truth.

I am quiet because I don't know
what the heck I'm saying half the time
unless I listen
unless I hear
unless I learn

I can hear you screaming at me
but I won't stop you, yet.
You yell because you're angry
You yell because you don't know
You yell because you are scared to be quiet

I am not just a girl.
I am a girl who loves the men in my life.

I am not just smart.
I am smart because I have taken the time to learn.

I am not just quiet.
I am quiet because I know you'll listen when you're ready.

I do not fit in the box the world is building for me.
I do not fit in a box.
And I will not be pushed into a corner.
I will not say something that I do not believe.
But I will listen to what you say.
And if I still do not believe you.
Okay.
But please, don't shove me into a box.
Because I am not the doll you wanted.
I am a person.
Not a doll.
And I do not fit in a box.
Because that is not who I am.


Peer Review

I really love the use of repetition! It really enforces what you’re trying to say! and the message is plain awesome!!


I think this piece is really good as is. I left a few suggestion things on the piece for tiny nitpicks but I think it’s really well-done the way it is! If you wanted to, you could try to find a way to work in saying “not all men” to go against that catchphrase people say (“I hate all men”)


Reviewer Comments

This was an awesome piece and I loved reading it! You’re very lucky to have such amazing men in your life and I definitely agree with your message, the men in my life have always pushed me up and helped me! There are definitely bad men out there but fortunately, neither you nor I have met any :)
Also for all the comments I made, feel free to ignore them, you know your writing best and I am just giving you one reader's opinion :)
Happy writing!!!