Peer Review by EAurora (United Kingdom)

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A Window Into a Soul

By: Yellow Sweater

It’s always raining. Each moment the grey cement of my neighborhood road grows darker, soaking up the mist until the rock reaches a point of tender surrender. Water fills the pores in the street and seeps into the muddy storm drains.

The sun occasionally shows its face but it’s always through a thin haze of persistent clouds. The light reflected in the puddles, in the green grass, in our mirrors and our eyes, is the sun’s brighter, purer derivative. 

There’s steam in my stomach, on my fingertips. Compressed, it turns the engines of translation. Sun into light. Rain into water. A window into a soul. 

Write a description of what your window overlooks. (by Bhavya's Treasure)

Peer Review

This is gorgeous! You have a really vivid and descriptive style that captures a common occurrence in an interesting way, and finds a very powerful beauty in the every day. I love how you have structured the three paragraphs as different reactions to the view from your window, and used this to track your own developing attitudes. First we see the dreary resignation and the sense of the weather impacting on your mood, making you feel waterlogged just as the rain "fills the pores" and "seeps". Then you show a sense of hope and beauty in the rain, considering the small details of the light, and finally give us a sense of the power and dynamism that the rain can hold. This is really clever and makes it a wonderfully cohesive piece.

There isn't really anything that feels missing from this piece, as you have created a snapshot of the scene which feels at once specific and like a regular experience, and it is so effective because it is brief with a tight structure. However, if you wanted to take this further and expand it into a longer piece of prose (which I'd definitely recommend if you fancied it - if only just because I want to read more!!) then it would be really interesting to see you expand each paragraph whilst keeping the distinct separation between them, as this is a fundamental part of the piece and why it works so well.

So you could look at the dullness and monotony of rain in more detail (perhaps bring in external/cultural views on the weather to balance out your own experience), then find a few moments of every day beauty to focus in on, then pull it out again and consider the ways in which a simple thing like this can be so powerful, and how this is applicable to other areas of life. Again, this is just a suggestion if you wanted to take this any further because this piece is great as it is! Please do let me know if you do make any revisions - I'd love to read them.

Reviewer Comments

I very much enjoyed reading this! Your writing style is lovely (you can tell that you are normally a poet, as you fuse poetry and prose so beautifully here), and really suits this short, vignette-like form of prose. I would definitely recommend that you continue to write more pieces in this form, and experiment with different paragraph and sentence lengths to deepen your lovely writing even further - I'd love to read them if you do! Well done :)