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Message to Readers

I'm fine :)
Also I hope this is understandable
If any of you get the message and would like to comment what you think it is/what it means to you feel free because I love reading stuff like that :D

my soul craves being alone to satisfy the hunger of the monsters (footnotes)

March 24, 2021

FREE WRITING

13

i like being alone. curling up in a tight ball with my hood on and wading through a sea of sadness. letting my thoughts wrap their arms around me and squeeze every smile, every drop of laughter out, wringing out the cupcakes and rainbows.

songs in my head washing over me in melancholy waves leaving me dripping in warm tears. they dribble down my chin in sticky streams, fighting their way into my mouth. salty.

alone. i fight the monsters alone. the darkness is spreading, swallowing me up

you wanna hurt yourself I'll stay with you...it's better to be held than holding on

words scream across my mind
                not enough    not enough
no one cares / no one knows

 ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ 
  

no.
who are you? a song. a nebulous idea brought to life by someone thousands of miles away.
reality is darkness / darkness is reality

hope is gone, the light covered by sheets of fog. darkness prevails.

i am satisfied.
"You wanna hurt yourself I'll stay with you...it's better to be held than holding on" is from the song "She's in the Rain" by The Rose. 

"But I still want you" is from "The Truth Untold" by bts

I guess this was loosely inspired by crystalline•galaxies' piece "it’s lonely, sitting here with the moonlight for company."
When I read that piece, i guess I was inspired to write my own "word vomit" 

I know the meaning of this can be kind of confusing cause I sort of kind of contradict the title but trust me that was how I meant it. If you get the meaning, kudos to you my friend. 


 

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  • March 24, 2021 - 9:10am (Now Viewing)

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56 Comments
  • Nyla

    -Oop ok, so WTW took it down because apparently, it was a social post or whatever (even though I saw a ton of other people do the same thing *sob*) but anyways, I wrote it in the footnotes of this link, https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/230266/version/487904


    5 months ago
  • Nyla

    I don't think this neccessarily contradicts the title. It talks about someone else a bit but then when you write "but I still want you" crossed out (btw, LOVE the formatting with that), it brings back that want of solitude. "they dribble down my chin in sticky streams," was amazing imagery. Ok on for my interpretation, ahh this is going to be so wrong but here goes: you're scared and don't necessarily want to be alone but you're so used to it that you think its all you deserve. Someone says they're here for you but you don't or can't believe them and just drift into the darkness. Hope that was enjoying for you to read haha *cringes at myself as I read what I just wrote*
    Also, I'm thinking about expanding my piece The Teapot. If you have time it would really help if you checked out my plan and let me know what you think (and if not, no worries :) Here's the link,
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/230196/version/487754


    5 months ago
  • Charisse Marison

    I think it means that you're welcoming the sadness? Listening to sad songs and encouraging the sad thoughts just because you can? I don't know, I'm not good with interpretation at ALL
    No matter what it means, I loved it <3


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Re- Yesss I know its so true! I read that quote and my jaw dropped


    6 months ago
  • gabimarie

    re: thank you!! my emotions were running high about that haha. thank you! i do wish they knew just how much they've helped me through my anxiety. have an amazing day :)


    6 months ago
  • only_a_mirage (bird)

    re: thank you!!!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aww, thank you so much!! :)
    Yeah! :)
    So, random question: did you say your sister is an ARMY or she’s not officially?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aww, thank you!! :) Well, my name is Eden, which can’t really be shortened... except to Ed, lol. I’m open to suggestions for nicknames, though.
    Yeah, it is! Okay, cool! Yeah, I just love so much of their music.


    6 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    re: okay! you'll be alright :D


    6 months ago
  • ✧♬TwinklingLights♬✧

    re: of course, you can vent now or later or whenever!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aw, thank you!! :)
    Great! Yeah, it’s such a heartfelt song. :)
    Also I haven’t said this yet, but Ariana is such a pretty name! Can I call you Ari as a nickname?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aw, ha it’s no big deal! XD I would totally do the same thing!
    Ooh, that’s great!!
    Okay, so yes, Jin’s voice does carry honesty and is so genuine in that song. I haven’t heard that about Winter Bear, but that is sad! I especially love V’s voice in that one, and the lyrics are really pretty to me (though it feels like most of the song is just music). I liked Serendipity, and I liked how many English lines it had and how good his pronunciation was in that one. But anyway, I’m so glad you got to listen to them! Also, have you heard Crystal Snow? It’s sooo pretty, and Jin sings a triple high note in the background that is just flat out incredible (there’s a video that actually shows it at a live performance). And finally, one last suggestion: Bulletproof: the Eternal (I think it’s kinda dedicated to their fans.... it would probably have made me an ARMY by itself if I hadn’t already been one).


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: sounds great! I’m excited to know what you think!
    I also listened to the one you suggested, and it was good too! Thanks so much for the suggestion!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: okay, awesome! No, I need to listen to that one! Okay, so my favorites are (I’ll juts give a few so I don’t overwhelm you: I know you’ve already heard Euphoria, Sweet Night, and Promise, right? I love Tonight by Jin, Winter Bear by V, Paper Hearts (cover song) by Jungkook, and Serendipity by Jimin (just a few suggestions to start with).


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: :) yeah it is. So, do you listen to BTS solo songs much? I’ve heard some really beautiful ones, and I’d love to talk about them if you’ve heard them. I know you’ve heard at least a few....


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: oh yeah, they can be. I was laughing for like 10 minutes....
    Awww that’s so sweet. I bet fans of both groups go wild to see them together. That’s so cool that they can kinda inspire each other like that. :)


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: haha, awwwww. That’s so cool! Really, they’re big BTS fans? Wow, that’s so neat. Yeah, the MAMA performances I’ve seen of BTS are pretty all-out. I was watching some BTS interviews on Radio Disney, and they are hilarious. XD Thank you for the recommendations!


    6 months ago
  • doodleninja

    i absolutely love the aesthetic of this piece, how you arranged all the words, the "i still want you" crossed out (love that song btw XD), and the theme too! super pretty piece! :D


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: haha, wow.
    Ah, okay thanks so much! Yeah, I understand about not watching them a lot too. Maybe I’ll check out some interviews. Thank you!
    Also, I’m curious; has ATEEZ ever performed at like MAMA or any other big award shows like that?


    6 months ago
  • Minvra

    I think the meaning has something to do with, wanting to be alone, but wanting comfort as well. I think the narrator is expressing that they think they're the monster. And the happiness they sometimes feel, they don't think they deserve but they hunger for that so in order to not be hungry, they deny themselves that happiness that they can't seem to get enough.

    Re: Thank you so much for your advice! So I published another version, can you check it out?


    6 months ago
  • Nikki

    oops! wrong spelling of you're. sorry :)


    6 months ago
  • Nikki

    if you dont mind, when i read this (gorgeous, gorgeous) piece, i think of a girl lying in the dark, listening to music (?). its music she used to relate to, music that reminds her of a particular period in her life. she is reminded of the events and its all hitting her again. like waves of anxiety
    re: oh tysmmmm!! your so nice <33


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: :)
    ahh, okay! Wait wait, he got stuck in his jacket?! XD It sounds interesting, lol.
    Okay, I need to know if you have any video recommendations for like BTS compilations or something (something that would help me learn more about them; even though i’ve learned so much, I still feel very behind)? I don’t know if you have any to suggest, but I don’t really like just browsing YouTube with no idea what I’m looking for.... you never know what will come up. But anyway, if you have any that you’ve watched that are good, I’d love to know about them.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: ha, that’s so cool! :)
    Yeah, he is pretty understanding. But he still makes fun of them from time to time, but mostly he just lets me do me I guess. But HEY THEIR BOY WITH LUV CHOREOGRAPHY IS GREAT! Was it the performance where they’re on the stage with the ticket booth thing?
    Each person has their own opinion though, but I love BTS’ performances so much (most of them anyway).
    Yeah, that makes sense! I love live performances too, though the music videos are definitely interesting to watch as well. Ooh, wow. That’s amazing, I love when they don’t lip-sync. It’s so much more inspiring for me, ya know?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Ps. Wow, I just realized you have “but I still want you” in this piece, and I have that line in my last piece too! :D


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: ahh, okay. Yeah, my dad doesn’t completely understand it, but he puts up with it at least.
    Ha, maybe she will! :) Okay, that’s cool!! Yeah, that is quite a bit closer in age than BTS.
    So, do you prefer music videos or live performance videos generally?


    6 months ago
  • Anlee

    Re: wow hello fellow multistan! stray kids has a huge, diverse discography but i would say some of my favorite songs from them are slump, haven, and phobia
    i love the incorporation of lyrics from bts and the rose (both amazing groups im glad you know them). each stanza has its own unique formatting which is super cool!


    6 months ago
  • Ava Marie

    Re: glad you liked it :)


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: :)
    Ah, okay.
    She would dislike it that much? Or just not understand it?
    Yeah, that makes sense. Heheh, yeah my wall is basically covered too! XD XD But my sister isn’t thrilled about it (we share a room). So I have a very specific location that she is okay with me putting them. And that part is overtaken. XD
    Random question: how old are the ATEEZ members?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: right!
    Awww, thank youuu! I’m so honored (I’m gonna go add you too!!) I’m so glad we can talk about it. :)
    So, do you collect any pictures/merchandise from any K-Pop group?


    6 months ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Oh, that’s fine! You can still join. Lots of people only had one, and I just find other random pieces looking for reviews on WtW and use them to fill in the cracks. That way, we are helping people outside of the club too. ;)


    6 months ago
  • Zirong

    wow. I love the title and the format and your word choices and your use of song lyrics and... basically I love everything about this piece! btw, may I ask how you managed to type out the "but I still want you" part?

    re: haha thank you so much! :)


    6 months ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Haha thank you! :) It's so true tho, my life is so boring XD


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: ha, yeah I understand!! XD It took me a while to be able to pick out BTS too. But now they look so different from each other (mostly at least).
    Yeah, okay cool! Thank you; we can be “ranting about K-Pop buddies” XD XD
    Awwwwwwww that is really sweet... wow, it melts my heart and I haven’t even seen it.


    6 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Re: Ahaha. Thanks., and that's probably what the movie would be XD


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: haha, it’s sounds like we’re pretty alike with that then! XD
    Yes, thank you! It’s really challenging when you first get into K-Pop, just because you don’t know really anything about it. But you can learn if you just keep researching.
    Wow, that’s really sweet. I’m happy to listen to your ranting about them anytime if you need to; K-Pop fans need to stick together (especially since like you said, a lot of people really don’t like it). But I think that’s a pretty cool concept that they cater to teens! Tbh, I’m not sure if I know the entire concept of BTS... I mean, I know they also cater to teens and promote like self-love and stuff like that. I love how they pack so much emotion into their music, and they are so kind and caring. I love them as people, and I love the passion behind what they’re trying to do, to spread love and kindness and encouragement through their music. I can really appreciate that from a group, you know?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Okay, this is part two of my Reply (I was typing the other one and just totally drew a blank trying to remember what we were talking about, XD)
    Huh, that’s cool! Thanks for explaining it! That’s a really interesting concept.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: aw, thank you! Yeah, so someone recommended the song, and I saw the video on YouTube... at that time I was still trying to figure out the basics of the group, and then I just kinda used JK to find my way into the ARMY world, if that makes any sense. :D But then I continued listening to songs and realized just how talented he is and how kind and just an amazing member of the group he is. :)


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yeah, I hope so!
    Okay, well that’s cool! It’s really neat that he immediately caught your eye in a video. Ha, yeah dancing is really hard. But huh, that’s interesting! Why destiny?
    Yes, so I feel like JK almost introduced me to the realm of BTS.... when I first started listening to their music, I had NO idea who was who or really anything about them. But one of the very first videos of theirs that I watched was the Boy With Luv dance practice video, and JK was my favorite in that one. Then when I started learning the dance, I taught myself his choreography. So he’s really just kinda been my bias from my early days of listening to BTS. XD


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: wow, that’s all really sad. It’s heartbreaking when things like that happen, and all you want is for them to come back and keep writing and being themselves. But hopefully a little break will help him feel better.
    I’m gonna be so upset about BTS..... okayyyy let’s talk about something happy now!
    Who is your favorite ATEEZ member? Also, what is their fan base called?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    And thank you for explaining to me!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yeah, it is.
    okay, wow, 8 members?! I though 7 was a lot. Awww, that’s really sad...... I hope he comes back soon. I’m gonna be so upset when the BTS guys leave for the military in a few years... I don’t even wanna think about it right now.


    6 months ago
  • SamRose

    Re: Tysm!! <3


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Ok um...is it ilgeal for someone to write something so beautiful? ur gonna go to jail now HAHA
    but seriously this is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G "reality is darkness / darkness is reality" like um what how??!/!?!/
    Re- Miss you too! Omg it has been long!! Im good<3 How are you?


    6 months ago
  • kathryn siena

    re: God, thank you so much. your comment brought a smile to my face, and really cheered me up since I just got yelled at by my mother *again*. Thank you.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yes, I know. The one video where Jimin cries during The Truth Untold and then JK goes to comfort him..... *tears up*
    Yeah, like I said, I’ve never really listened to BP. But okay, cool! Yeah, I should listen to some of those!! Thanks for suggesting them!
    Also, how many members does ATEEZ have?


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: haha, thanks! XD
    Yeah, it is cool to see that (but sad sometimes, like when he cries... )
    Wow, you listen to a lot of it! I only listen to BTS so far... XD But I’m always open to song recommendations! :D And I have heard of Seventeen I think. Also BlackPink, but I’ve only ever listened to one fan made video where they mix BTS’ Boy with Luv and BlackPink’s cover version.


    6 months ago
  • ~rain~

    Re: Ahh sure! Thank you!! :) You're too sweet <3


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: (this is part two, lol, so I can remember to respond to everything. XD)
    That’s cool about the guy from ATEEZ too. Do you listen to other K-Pop groups, or are those the main two? Also, yeah, Euphoria is amazing.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yeah, I guess that’s a good way to describe it. But something about his voice just... touches me, lol. I don’t know, he’s just so emotional when singing, and I appreciate that in music. It shows how genuine it is for him, ya know? But yes, Promise is beautiful and I love the tune too.
    Haha, welllll.... I learned the clumsy-girl-who-can’t-really-dance version of Boy With Luv (I practiced one day for seriously five hours, I’m not kidding, and I still practice sometimes to make sure I remember it. It’s really fun, but man, it’s hardddd!) I know part of the Dynamite routine, and my sister and I can almost completely recreate the Life Goes On music video... XD XD XD XD It’s really fun though, even though I know I’m really pretty bad at dancing, lol. But Boy With Luv was one of the first BTS songs I ever heard (Dynamite was the first).


    6 months ago
  • ~rain~

    Oh and I have a question- would you mind if I mentioned you on my message board? :)


    6 months ago
  • ~rain~

    Re: Ahh I missed you too <3 I'm still considered as "not supposed to look at screens for long periods of time" so yeah.
    Lol yes Bucky!! I don't blame your sister at all for wanting to call him. And omgg I've tried calling, emailing, and mailing letters to Tom Holland and I've still gotten nowhere. Like seriously, I've met the Dolphin Tale cast (including Morgan Freeman), only because I practically live where the movie was filmed. Maybe just maybe I'll meet other celebs...
    And roman numerals are 100% just no- I have strong opinions about them being useless.
    And yeah my head still hurts :(
    Alsoooo yasss the quotes came back stronger than ever (or something like that)


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: yes, they are all incredibly talented! Oh, really?! I didn’t know that it’s in Japanese! Wow, that’s amazing!
    Yeah, I think I know what you mean. He sounds a little whiney in some songs, is that it? I agree that he can get a bit overly dramatic in a few parts, but his voice just blows me away in certain songs. I just really like his voice, and those high notes... I guess I admire them because I try to sing high notes and my sister sometimes runs away flailing when I sing. XD
    Girl, I know about that choreography! Believe me, I’ve learned a dance or two of theirs myself, and it is NOT easy. But ooh, I need to listen to both of those songs! I haven’t heard them, but Suga’s rapping is so emotional and intense at times. And I really love Euphoria by Jungkook, his voice is just *chef’s kiss* But yeah, Promise is really pretty; I love the lyrics.


    6 months ago
  • First Name Last Name

    this is an awesome piece! I like the "word vomit" style, and the crossing out and italics work very well together! good job!


    6 months ago
  • Kasilee

    Love this!!! Amazing job!


    6 months ago
  • Deleted User

    I wanted "but I still want you" to be in italics but it didn't format that way unfortunately. ugh.


    6 months ago