gabimarie

United States

~ 16 ~
she/her/hers
occasional nerd
future songwriter

Message from Writer

armystay

if yall ever want to talk, my insta is gabiiconnor :)

i'm secretly not so secretly addicted to coffee and long night drives

also remember to stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and don't skip meals! :)

go check out my twin, Rohan's Defender. she's literally so talented and so much fun to talk to!!

blood sweat tears - the story of the girl in the mirror

March 22, 2021

FREE WRITING

1
There's a girl staring at me in the mirror. She's got this look on her face, bags under her eyes, downward tilt to her mouth. Her hair is in need of a shower, her face needs to be washed, and her eyebrows need to be plucked. She cut her nails last night, and her cuticles are in poor shape. She can't remember the last time she slept for more than four hours at a time. She can't remember the last time she went a day without caffeine. Behind her, a guitar is reflected in the mirror. It leans against the door, placed there when she couldn't bear to hear another riff of chords. To her right is her laptop, completely drained of battery. She forgot to get her charger from her car last night, so when it died, she pulled out her phone and continued on Voicenotes. To her left is her speakers. She felt so alone last night, so she played Sweet Night over and over again until her speakers died too.
    She hurts everywhere. Yesterday, she ran for miles, not getting anywhere but racking up the lost calories. She did yoga afterwards, which was supposed to help with her anxiety. It doesn't, but getting lost in her work does. So she stayed up, staring at the notebook filled with lyrics and occasionally pressing record on her laptop.
    She reminisces on the first time she picked up a guitar. She was ten years old. She watched videos on how to hold a guitar. She played E and A minor chords until her fingers came within an inch of bleeding. She sat on the stool in her grandmother's living room, playing "Jingle Bells" on the piano until her mom yelled at her to stop. She placed her mom's phone on the table and taught herself how to dance and do a split. She curled into a ball on the floor of the school bathroom, silently crying into her hands until her friend came to find her. "I can't breathe." "My heart, I can't." Her friend hands her the iPod and pressed play on the album O?RUL8,2? She sits there, an arm around her until she can breathe again. She walks into the classroom, head held high and face washed of tears.
    The girl in the mirror stares back at me. She doesn't show the blood on her fingers from playing too hard. She doesn't show the sweat that plasters her hair to her face when she overworks her body. She doesn't show the tears that fall before a class presentation or after a fight with her parents. She shows the fight. She shows the fire. She shows the resilience. She knows the blood, the sweat, the tears, it's all going to be worth it. She knows the anxiety, the fear, the insecurities, they're what made her. They're the fire that forged the sword.
    The girl in the mirror, she breaks eye contact with me and picks up the guitar behind her. The blood, sweat, and tears, they'll keep coming for as long as she fights, and she will fight. The girl in the mirror looks back up at me and tilts her head. She asks, "Will you keep fighting too?"

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  • March 22, 2021 - 12:09pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • Mespotz

    Me as soon as I looked at the title: Whonne mani mani...
    This is incredible, I really liked it.


    about 2 months ago
  • serein

    re: That's cool how you get inspiration from things! The songs I listen to definitely inspire a lot of the pieces I write. (Or they inspire some kind of emotion that I feel like writing about).
    Yeah my friend taught herself to play guitar and bass (she uses the bass to play along to her kpop songs lol) and I've learned one chord lol--E minor I think. The super easy one. Yeah learning the guitar (or the ukele or both) is definitely on my bucket list :)
    Oh cool yeah Jimin seems to be one of the most popular haha.
    Have a great day too :)


    about 2 months ago
  • serein

    O MY GOODNESS THIS GOT ME SO HYPED FOR SOMETHING AND I FEEL LIKE I COULD RUN A MARATHON (maybe it helps that I was listening to some real hype music while reading this. perfect combo *chef's kiss*)
    Wow. The way you wrote about the girl's reflection it made it seem like she was a totally different person. I kind of got the vibe of someone hurting inside but covering it up.
    Honestly the way music was used in this piece was perfect. Like, it kinda made me wanna pick up a guitar and learn how to play. I wanted to get up and write song.
    And I'm sorry but the last paragraph, the last line were just SO good and hit SO hard and it was so beautiful I loved every single bit of this!!!!
    On an unrelated note I know you're a fan of bts (i saw your bio :D) but lol the first thing I thought when I read "blood sweat and tears" was you know, bts's song....
    and I also love the little sweet night reference thing haha :)


    about 2 months ago