Peer Review by Ava Marie (Canada)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


The Girl With The Golden Eyes

By: Abby11


She stared at me through golden eyes.
With the wit of a stranger
Bestowed upon her by lies.
She’d glance at me through those ever glowing eyes.
And whisper,
”I will be your demise”.

She’d stare at me through golden eyes.
Rambling,
About the poor man’s cries.
She glanced at me through those ever glowing eyes.
And whispered,
”I will be your demise”.

Her hand grazed mine.
Her feet locked in stride,
Staring at me through her golden eyes.

Her ramblings continued,
About the men that would find
Her glowing eyes.

Her eyes how they shined.
They displayed her pride.
Now they gleam,
With a humility,
They could see for miles.

She’d stare at me through those golden eyes.
Rambling,
About the poor man’s cries.
She glanced at me through those ever glowing eyes.
And whispered,
”I will be your demise”.

The old men whine,
About the girl they once loved.
The one with the golden eyes.
The girl who held pride,
’Till the day she died.
That girl with the golden eyes.


Message to Readers

I would like to know what effect my writing has on the world. I came her to get constructive criticism to improve my writing. Please, let me know how this piece made you feel, if anything at all. And I am always open to suggestions on how to better my work and further my career.


Peer Review

I think that my favourite line would have to be "She stared at me through golden eyes. With the wit of a stranger". It's a really strong opening line, and super engaging. I also love the way these two lines, along with the third one, role off the tongue. Beautiful!!


I felt a little sad after reading this. It's so beautiful and yet had a small tragic underlining. The repetition is phenomenal, I loved the entire thing!!


Reviewer Comments

This poem was so good, and a pleasure to review. I hope you find my comments helpful, but know that you don't have to use them if you don't want to.