Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

Hope you like this! As always, any feedback is amazing- especially because I'm not sure what I'm doing half the time XD! Have a great day/night :)

Death

March 23, 2021

FREE WRITING

7
You graze your whithered hand across my plump flesh
hot air pushing onto my face 
"I want you", escapes from your cracked lips

Twisting your bony arm
to get a good grip

I pull away
from your putrid breath
tendrils entering my nostrils

Face turned 
I cry out
for help
assistance from any being
to be my savior

But none arrive
they have no authority here
so traversing into the
white light
with nothing 
I calmly accept my non-existence

You are death
my end.

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  • March 23, 2021 - 9:18pm (Now Viewing)

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11 Comments
  • useless :)

    wow, i love how you described death here! "withered hand", "cracked lips", "bony arm", "putrid breath,"...they all add to the tone you created in your poem! i really like the ending too.
    re: thank you!! and no problem! :)
    ohh okay. ikrr, i was looking forward to mine for a while but apparently a week only seems to go by quickly when i'm on break. how fortunate :D
    oh, luckyy haha. i had my first state exam about a week ago, it was my writing, which i'm glad they do first bc it's the easiest for me and u don't have to prepare for it, it's just a prompt u write an essay to. then i have my ela, science, geometry, and algebra 2 finals all in may which i just realized is coming up so soonnn. i'm not ready ahah, i mean, i think i'm ready material-wise, but i just don't feel like taking a bunch of two hour tests soon XD.
    aw thanks! :D
    oh okay! that makes sense! ohh the charity aspect is really cool, and i love the meaning behind it, i actually never really knew any of the purposes of it before :)
    what are the other purposes if you don't mind me asking?
    also, thank you for explaining it to me!
    oh i'm pretty sure most of the time the estimates are accurate, i think the reason mine's longer is bc at the start of quarantine i couldn't go to my appointments so it delayed the process a bit. and yeah haha, i think i forgot what the difference was after like a month of having them XD. yup, i definitely will! :)
    oh, i'm suddenly very glad i only have to wear them at night XD. i don't do irl school so i wouldn't have that problem, but still.
    ohh okay! yeah. or u can just get expelled haha. i don't think that's happened to anyone in my grade but it's actually happened before at a high school near me...there was a pretty bad incident where a high schooler who previously went to my school posted pictures of our school from the inside at night (he broke in) on Instagram, and asked for "advice" on what the best way to do the most "damage" would be. then some kid, another high schooler who went to my school the previous year told him to "go for the congregated areas" like the cafeteria and rig something and put pressure bombs in there...it was kinda scary since i was in sixth grade at the time haha. we haven't had anything like that before or after tho. they ended up getting arrested, it was pretty serious haha.
    idk why i went on about that XD, it just came to my mind for some reason.
    oh i'm preatty smrt two :D
    hehe
    oh thanks haha. i was reading looking for alaska, i finished last night tho. it was so so sad, but it's such a great book.
    oh lol. true, but i've had a sort of hard time picking one out...one of my friends was helping me a while ago and it was nice, but for some reason it'd feel weird to make that my username XD. maybe i haven't found the right one or smth haha.
    oh, no lol, ice lolly is a magazine that you can submit writing too. i did it for fun but they accepted it so that was nice :D
    if you search up ice lolly review on google and then click on their website you'll sorta see what it's about, and if you go to the march issue i'll be on there :)
    also, you should submit a piece to a magazine! your writing is really good so it'd be cool to see it on there :D
    haha dw, i literally started writing creatively a week before i started this site so i'm still sort of a newbie, idk some of the fancy terms XD
    no problem, and thanks! haha yup :)


    5 months ago
  • aaliyahh

    re: BAHAHA omg thank you!! idk why i'm hooked on writing mysterious things... ;) but omg!! i remember i used to ask everybody if tinfoil, and other thigs like plastic bags could go in the microwave (i still do)...XD luckily nothing has caught on fire..and tom holland YESYESYES!! i see what you mean.. ;))) and omg enola holmes was such a good movie!! i got so scared at the end, but it turned out really nicely! :)) and i want to be a psychiatrist when i get older, don't know what i'm doing on here either haha! but a doctor is a good job!! i kinda wanted to be a doctor when i was little, but i don't think i could work in hospitals like that...what's your favorite movie genre?? <3


    6 months ago
  • astrea

    the poem is a little freaky but in a good way! really awesome!
    re: thank you


    6 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Woahhhhh


    6 months ago
  • McK13

    Oh my goodness, this is so good!! This is such a great story and I love how it keeps developing, amazing! There's also such an eerie vibe that I really enjoy :) re: aww thanks so much!!! I really liked the second one too because of the question at the end since it wrapped it up nicely! hahaha, that's so cool that it was from your dreams, I hardly ever remember mine but that's awesome that that's what inspired your piece! I just read the rest of Him, the ending was so perfect!! You did such a great job with the last line "I sigh, stupid country music" :) Still, even though you were scared, you probably were fantastic! Yessss, it's like come on, how do you not realize how amazing it is that people can write such incredible pieces and then nail a performance but eventually I just have to give up trying to explain! Okay, fine, I admit my wish was pretty good, haha but yours were good too just not as good lol Ooh, that's an excellent pick, I've heard New Zealand is so gorgeous!! Definitely on my bucket list :)


    6 months ago
  • aaliyahh

    OMG!! this is such an amazing story, it gave me the chills but in such an exciting way!!! the twist at the end is thrilling as well, "you are my death, my end" is just WOW!!!
    re: thank youu omg your so kind!! and ahhhh i can't wait to make them!! i'll def let you know how they come out, let's hope i don't burn them or set the house on fire ;)) your also a really good writer as well at 15, i love the vocabulary you use, and the details it's so amazing!!
    -and for school; i picked my classes a few weeks ago for 9th grade and i chose the intro to culinary..i'm scared but SO excited to learn more about the 'cHeF wOrLd'
    -time travel: the 80s?? YESS!! i love the style, the music, and just the era in general, i feel like everything was 10x more peaceful than it is now... and awe it's okay if you don't listen to that much music!! i've never actually listened to one of zendaya's songs but she's a really good actress so i'll check out her music too :))
    shawn mendes is pretty good, don't listen to him too often but some of his songs are ahhhhh!! if yk what i mean ;) what's your dream job for when you get older?? <3


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: Aw, again, you e succeeded in making my day brighter with your sweet comment! I’m so glad you like my work; and I’m so excited to read some of yours (I promise I will soon!!)
    Okay, that’s so cool about the martial arts! I think that would be pretty fun, although I wouldn’t like sparring. I used to want to play soccer too, but I’ve never really played sports, and I’m just not the most competitive or athlete person.
    Okay! Yeah, I haven’t seen those (though I’ve seen a few clips of Friends and The Office). Yes Dog With a Blog was amazing!!
    Hmm, my first instinctive answer is cookie dough, lol! XD What about you?


    6 months ago
  • jacqdanielmf

    Re: Hello Nyla! Your works are all wonderful! Thank you for the tip about replying to someone (and I don't know it before) Wherever you are, stay safe, and keep on writing good works!


    6 months ago
  • Nikki

    omg this gives my such 'Hansel and Gretel' vibesssss!! i just love the way you've given life to the idea of death. AND... the character seems a lot like the witch in the candy house from the fairy tale XD
    re: awww thank you! hehe :) i totally agree XD


    6 months ago
  • ArtisticCatbird2020

    "my end"
    the end

    Not bad! Nice contrast between the living and dead.


    6 months ago
  • psithurism

    re: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :)


    6 months ago