poetri

United States

est. 2020
i write poems

Sorta

March 29, 2021

FREE WRITING

33

I am too old             to feel             like this            again.

    The age old adages have come back to haunt me.

    Knives are like words from my ex best friend's throat.

                                         And she lured me in, snakelike
                                         until I couldn't see
                                         anything.
Not anything
at all
anymore.

Did you see the lights flicker?                Oh, but the stars shine
just for you.


It's all an illusion,           it's a game.       They feed me propaganda 
and I spit it back for a grade

/in perfect unison/

I'm starting to agree I'm something punk rock
sorta vibe. I'm starting to hurt my ears just so I can't hear what's inside.

I'm starting to agree my anger is justified,

my breath of fresh air, electrified; all the wrong reasons, intensified;
glorified;
and they think me petrified           but the level I'm on made the pastors cry.
I can't see the surface.                                               If I scream will my voice still be amplified?
That's why:

I spit it into rough syllables, scream it in decibels

            /past a thousand/

write it in legible chalk on the ground and let                             people look and look past it

                                cause it might make someone uncomfortable.

                                     I haven't been this way in ages
         been angry in enough to spit words and fill pages and
say everything I been holding back for fear of the rage might make someone afraid
                                                                             and not like what I have to say 

but screw it.

I'd rather have no friends and get all my words out then a party of friends
and an ache in my mouth                                         from keeping shut and quitting.

I ask my friends why I'm special to them and they chime back in eulogy,
list my awards in chronology like I am now their trophy wife.
               Rather, the real life 
               Trophy Mistress, Best Friend Resistance Part II (to you)
I've lived the way they make me say hello at parties.
It makes me uncomfortable.

Man, I'm singing now too, join me in my debut and we'll put skulls on the cover and call it

anger. 

"Your writing is beautiful."

"If it is then I haven't done my job."

I don't recognize the ghostwriter I had last year
who occupied time trying for flowery language people'd call correct and only remember for a day.
I can't say it that way, I can only make sounds             My voice is garbled and unsure of itself.

(but here's verse one.)

And now my hair's all messed up and I'm thinking of shaving it
and my parents say I'm a train wreck just waiting to happen
but at least this image tattoos itself into y'all's brains and it makes into a double.
(I really need braces--imagine if they were affordable.)
I question everything, the people on the street are in my head again,
the sun is a knife and it cuts through my skin again
and let's let people see things I've tramp stamped to my skeleton,.
I long to make them understand but once you've passed the age it's not something you'll
taste again. I'm glad for their sake, then.

I'd hate to make anyone uncomfortable.

Besides, seventeen tastes too much like bile.
I am in hatred.

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  • March 29, 2021 - 7:31am (Now Viewing)

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13 Comments
  • Written_In_Water

    wow I have never seen a piece with 33 likes but this deserves it without a doubt


    2 months ago
  • SamWiseGamjee

    I loved the honesty of this piece. I read it five times and I'm gonna read it again because it's perrrrffeeeccttttt!!!!! Also thank you so much for your sweet comment!


    7 months ago
  • BriRiley

    Yep! This is great, sometimes I just need to barf my feelings and view ps on paper. :)


    7 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    wow. just... expansive, like a sea to throw oneself in
    They feed me propaganda
    and I spit it back for a grade" a line that caught my eye, but there were so many. and the way you made it rhyme so... rhythmically (ugh, wrong word).
    AND THIS ONE:
    "Your writing is beautiful."

    "If it is then I haven't done my job."
    this definitely sounds like a song in a way


    7 months ago
  • Minvra

    Though, I wonder, when the poem said "Your writing is beautiful"
    "If it is then I haven't done my job" I wonder if the narrator's job is to put emotion (anger) in their writing and a message that pushes people away. Or if I'm over shooting.


    7 months ago
  • ArtCat

    This is so honest and real, it has great rhythm too. I like the straightforwardness.


    7 months ago
  • rwong

    woah ok wow im kinda speechless right now because this is so full of emotion and anger, and the formatting and also the rhymes you have going and just the whole piece is just a;lsdkjf;laksdj okay sorry if that comment made no sense but i love this.


    7 months ago
  • elliem

    Damn. I kinda love this, especially the contrast between each “uncomfortable” line. Also, this line? “‘Your writing is beautiful.’

    ‘If it is then I haven't done my job.’”

    ^^?!?! I’ve never thought of poetry that way, but you are so clever for being able to find your own definition of and purpose for writing, something I could never do. I love how angry this is. I rarely see writing like that, especially on WtW, so it’s refreshing and energizing to see this variety. I’m going to go and read this again :)


    7 months ago
  • Minvra

    Re: I kinda learned it's best to let the reader's' imagination skyrocket and they'd probably make it ten times more imaginative than you intended lol


    7 months ago
  • Minvra

    Re: Huh, that's cool. When I read it as a two-faced (three?) poem, I saw one side less angry or spiteful, but it's more garbled. The other side is absolute rage with maybe a twinge of regret.


    7 months ago
  • Minvra

    Wait, is this a two faced poem? I read it a couple times, and I assume the ones in the middle is something both two poems share.


    7 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    the flow and rhythm here is immaculate


    7 months ago
  • a rose

    the callback to my deleted piece makes me happy


    7 months ago