psithurism

United States

she/her | christian
violist | nemophilist
est. 10/21/2020

on an unintentional semi-hiatus

Message to Readers

Just putting it out there, I do not approve of, or encourage smoking in any way. I only used it as a metaphor. Don't smoke kids.

a cigarette is danger

March 20, 2021

FREE WRITING

16

that boy was a cigarette
dark hair, dark eyes
he could've burned me alive
if i had lit the flame
my lungs would've been charred black
my life gone up in smoke
he would've told me he loved me
just so he could keep me hooked
on his nicotine thrill
but i've heard enough of
"don't smoke"
to know that he was dangerous
so i pocketed my lighter
always kept a bottle of water nearby
'cause that boy was a cigarette
dark hair, dark eyes
he could've burned me alive
 
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  • March 20, 2021 - 8:02am (Now Viewing)

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11 Comments
  • Nyla

    Wow, this extended metaphor is so beautiful, you explain it so well (like even talking about having water!) and it's just ah heart-wrenching. And the ending just ties it back in so well!
    RE: Awwww thank you so much psithurism! (Grammarly needs an update because it thinks psithurism isn't a word when it is! *dramatic hand to face* And aw of course! :)


    5 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    This piece is just so out of this world, I cannot even get over it!! I love your views and I cannot wait to read your new work!


    6 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Ooooo. I love the representation!


    6 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    ohhh man kiwi this is awesome!! seriously i love the metaphor...... <3 <3 <3 wow!!!


    6 months ago
  • sunny.v

    re: paisley's super rad and a favorite virtual little sibling of mine, yes!! i'm sad we didn't get to interact more, but you seem lovely as well. i'm so flattered by the notion that i'm an inspiration though lol?? i kinda cringe and the current writing i have up on here but! i am endlessly grateful for your praise. thank you, love! <33


    6 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    Re: For sure. And haha, I wouldn't call it that :) But thanks!!


    6 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    The metaphor is great!! I really like it.


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: ^u^


    6 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    WHATTTT KIWI THIS IS SO GOOD
    the figurative language avdgwhjk imagery rbghekfjljhgfghj stunning


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Dang. That is an extremely vivid and effective metaphor.


    6 months ago
  • kathryn siena

    first of all: this is beautiful. I love the descriptions!
    second of all: maybe you could call it "danger is a cigarette" or "cigarette smoke" or something like that.


    6 months ago