Stone of Jade

United States

~ 17 she/her ~
Aspiring writer and artist. Completely awestruck by night skies. Apart of many, many fandoms ;) Reader, journaler, collector.
~ pilot pens and beat-up notebooks ~
one half of the locket
discord LexLuthor#8769

Message to Readers

true story...
it's crazy how impactful a single act can be for someone.
be nice...even if it means little to you, it may mean the world to them.

to the boys on the playground

March 18, 2021

FREE WRITING

16

To the boys on the playground...

I know it seems odd for me to say it now, all these years later,
but I never got to say thank you. 

My goodbye was rushed, full of tears, and crowded with overwhelming thoughts. 
I never realized until later, 
how much you all meant to me. 

When I think back on elementary school, the one thing that comes to mind is the back of the gym.
I can still see the red-orange wall,
I can still feel the chalky bricks under my fingertips,
and I can still hear the smack of the tennis ball as it bounces on the pavement. 

My thank you extends farther than my old wall ball days. 
A few of you noticed me, watching by myself. 
No one else saw I was alone. All the other girls in the grade were off playing. 
You were playing a game on the edge of the field.
I can't remember what your game was called...I just remember you asking me if I wanted to play.
I said I didn't know how.
You have no idea how I regretted declining that offer,
you have no idea how I longed for you to ask again.
You have no idea how badly I wanted to play.

Fast forward a few days...or maybe weeks? It is hard to remember. 
I stood on the edge of the pavement,
watching all of you throw the ball, run to the wall, and repeat. 
You all laughed so much, seemed so happy. 
It looked so fun, but I didn't know how to play.
The monitor asked me if I wanted to join.
It's funny I remember her so vividly--she was the blonde lady in the cafeteria that made us eat our soggy vegetables. 
I said no...I didn't know how. 

Every recess, I kept watching and picking up the rules.
And when I finally joined in, you didn't mock how bad I was.
You taught me. 
And my wall-ball days began. 

Every day before that I dreaded recess. 
Unless I had a book, the afternoons of sunshine were boring. 
Until I joined the boys on the playground in their daily game of wall-ball. 
For weeks I played, learned, and made friends. 
That was what you were, although I didn't realize it then. 

It was too late when I finally understood.
Too late when I realized how hard my goodbye would be. 
I know it wasn't as hard for you.
I know you probably don't even remember me...I was just the lone girl who tagged along. 
You have no idea what an impact you were on my life. 

Walking down the hallway for the last time.
My last day at the school.
I stopped midway and began to cry. 
It finally hit me.
Just like the tennis ball on the brick wall. 
I couldn't bring myself to take another step.
And then you came, in your laughing, joking huddle. 
A group of fourth-graders on the way home.
You stopped when you saw me crying. 

I don't remember exactly what happened or what you all said. 
My memory is blurred in tears. 
I remember you all hugging me,
and me saying goodbye. 
I never got the chance to say thank you. 

So here I am, seven years later.
I write this, knowing you will never understand how much you all meant to me.
I have never played wall-ball since. 
That game lives in the memory of my childhood. 

To the boys on the playground...

I wanted to say thank you. 
Thank you for your playground invitation,
your encouragement,
and your friendship.

Sincerely,
the lone girl who tagged along. 
 

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  • March 18, 2021 - 12:04am (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    I’m srsly abt to cry now cause this is so relatable although I was probably the person in the middle of the group who always brought the ball XD Elementary school was god tho :D


    about 1 month ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Awww this is so sweet! This makes me wanna write a tribute to one person from years ago...


    about 2 months ago
  • Caleb Urlacher

    awwww this is so good. man, just like 'useless :)' said, small acts can really make a big difference. sounds like some good kids.

    i played wall-ball in elementary too... all i remember is i threw the ball and it hit some kid in the nose. he was cool about it though but i could tell i hurt him. i'd probably want to say sorry to him now lol. it's a fun sport


    about 2 months ago
  • useless :)

    wow. small acts really do make a big impact on others...i can sort of relate too. the piece was written beautifully, and all the emotion poured into it really comes through. i love it! :)
    btw, wall ball was everythingg (when i was in fifth grade XD)
    i had way too much fun playing that and soccer at recess. and like, it didn't matter if you knew the kids beforehand or not, you could just play and make new friends so easily. which makes me miss elementary school haha


    about 2 months ago
  • SamRose

    Oh wow! This is so beautiful! I can sort of relate, a lot of people have no idea how much it means when they invite someone to join them. It takes being the shy kid in the corner for awhile to truly appreciate how much a ‘hello’ or ‘wanna play with us?’ can mean to someone. Overall, beautiful piece! I really and truly love it! :)


    about 2 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    this... is such an emotional roller coaster. so beautiful and well written. wow. i applaud you


    about 2 months ago