Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

I just got really inspired to write this kind of story with only dialogue. Let me know what you think :)

Darling

March 18, 2021

FREE WRITING

18
“Actuall-“
Darling, children should be seen and not heard, now don’t you peep another word.”

“Moooom”
Sweetie, no whining, we want to see those pearly whites shining.”

“Ugh”
Pumpkin, no crinkling your face unless you want it to look like lace.”

“Why don’t we-“
Baby, actions speak louder than words, now go cut that cake into thirds.”

“This is my-“
Cutie, do you even have a brain? Oh my, you’re a plain Jane”

“I fell and scrape-“
Missy, ladies are elegant not clumsy,
Oh, haven’t you learnt from mumsy”

“Pass the-“
Dear, we say thank you and please,
Speak properly, you’re not a sleaze.”

“But-“
Angel, did you talk back?
You really want a smack?”

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  • March 18, 2021 - 9:35am (Now Viewing)

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20 Comments
  • nolongeractive

    This piece is just so out of this world, I cannot even get over it!! I love your views and I cannot wait to read your new work!


    6 months ago
  • The Ravenclaw Dragon

    The message in this is so powerful, even though you don't directly show it. Amazing. Keep on writing!


    6 months ago
  • Awesome Sienna

    This is wonderful!


    6 months ago
  • nopenopenope

    whAt is this?

    a new chapter of SHRB??!

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/224379/version/472707

    (unrelated: do you mind if i review this piece?)


    6 months ago
  • thea_ivy

    This is beautiful, it really shows how many destructive things can happen hidden by a smile and some sweet words<3


    6 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    You talk about my work being art, this is a masterpiece. All the rhymes and pet names are fit together so seamlessly.
    replying- Thank you so much. I'm glad you like my writing, and thank you for the support:)


    6 months ago
  • Zirong

    re: thank you so much! <3 I do agree that overthinking actually makes literature much more enjoyable! :)


    6 months ago
  • SunV

    Oh my god, this is perfection. And the dialogue sounds like something a very very prim and proper, feminine doctor Seuss would say, in a good way of course!!

    Re: Ohh, we start Trig in tenth here too, but because we write our boards in March, our tenth academic year starts in the end of February. Trig is actually the first concept I learnt in tenth math.
    And Hamilton and Harry Potter are amazing.

    What do you like doing, apart from writing, of course :)


    6 months ago
  • Zirong

    The rhymes are extraordinary. This whole piece is so clever in both format and content!


    6 months ago
  • Avril

    I love how you expressed this message with only dialogue. Also the rhythm and rhyme are beautiful and make it flow so well! Love it!!

    Re: Thanks so much:)


    6 months ago
  • Cheshire Cat

    Go use the links in my bio


    6 months ago
  • nopenopenope

    re: thanks for your kind comment.

    i left the link to chapter two, just in case if you want to take a look

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/224226/version/472226

    have a good rest of your day/night/morning?


    6 months ago
  • Cheshire Cat

    re: do you have prose or light


    6 months ago
  • Cheshire Cat

    RE: thx


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    Re: OMG THANKS SO MUCH!!!! You are amazing, your supports means everything.


    6 months ago
  • useless :)

    wow. this is so clever and well written...the innocent tone of the girl's lines with the responses of the mother ties in to really bring out stereotypes placed on girls, and that's shown so clearly. i don't want to repeat what McK13 said haha but i agree with everything. i love this! :)
    re: thank you so much!! (and sorry for the late response)


    6 months ago
  • nopenopenope

    Oooh. I didn't catch onto the rhyming pattern until reading it over again.
    impressive.


    6 months ago
  • only_a_mirage (bird)

    re: thank you!!


    6 months ago
  • McK13

    Wow...this is so breathtaking. Your words express so much emotion! The stereotype placed on women and girls, saying that they should always be proper, respectful, elegant, voiceless, and that their looks are more important then their thoughts, opinions, personality, etc, is so evidently seen throughout this entire piece. I love the use of repetition! Also the simple changing of the words from like darling to baby to angel is so clever. This piece is completely beautiful yet heartbreaking. Wonderful job :)


    6 months ago
  • Odyssey

    Wow. This is really striking.


    6 months ago