United States

~ 16 ~
occasional nerd
future songwriter

Message from Writer


i'm secretly not so secretly addicted to coffee and long night drives

also remember to stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and don't skip meals! :)

go check out my twin, Rohan's Defender. she's literally so talented and so much fun to talk to!!

the bonsai tree I call home

March 16, 2021


    When you enter my room, you immediately realize that it's got a certain type of aesthetic. The walls are white, with fairy lights on every wall. There is no overhead light; instead, there are four lamps at each corner of the room. One wall is covered in pictures, another is plastered with bts posters and inspirational quotes. A desk sits underneath one of my posters, while my keyboard and amp rest next to my picture wall. The carpet is a blue so light it's almost grey. My curtains are grey and silver, matching my bedsheets. Next to my window is a bookshelf that comes up to my hip, packed with books, ones from my childhood (Emily Windsnap), to my current favorites (Invisible Man, From Blood and Ash). A foot away is my vanity. It used to be my grandmother's, but it was given to me when she moved into the facility for her Alzheimer's. I spend the majority of my time sitting here if I'm not at my keyboard.
    A Central Perk mug sits on a corner, proof of the nights I spend here, writing into the dark hours of the night. Dry shampoo sits next to it, proof of my poor time management, that I can't even manage my time to fit in a shower sometimes. It's joined by a water bottle, perfume, my Alexa, a Bluetooth speaker, and a Funko figurine of JHope that was given to me by a friend for my 15th birthday. On the left corner, there is a small tree, maybe seven inches tall. It's not even remotely the most interesting thing in my room, nor is it the most expensive. When people come over, they may comment on it, saying "Why is there a tree in your room?" But then they move on, drawn to the instruments or the bts albums or the dozens of books I own. It's just a tree, a sweet plum bonsai I bought as a present to myself when I got my license. So why is it so important? Wouldn't the car I now own be much more treasured?
    I named my car the other day. Jenny. She's a Jeep Compass, and I decided I didn't like calling her "it" or "the car". I also named my teddy bear from my adolescence. Ryo. A couple of days ago, I named the stray cat who comes to our backyard every so often. Delilah. Obviously, I have nothing against naming things. So why is it so hard to name this tree? Lia? No, too short. Carson? Too much like a tv name. Why is it so damn hard to name a stupid tree?
    I think I figured it out. I can't name the tree. When I was younger, I used to sit under a banana tree and read. We had dozens of fairy tales, so I would lug out that big book and sit under its shade and pass the time that way. It's not nearly the same, but the bonsai feels like home. One day, I might crawl under its shade and reread "Pride and Prejudice" for the twentieth time. But until then, it'll stay on my vanity, next to my coffee mug and Alexa, where it is underestimated and overlooked, because that is what home is.


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  • March 16, 2021 - 11:43am (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • resident philocalist

    or you could call him bonsaisaac

    no im kidding. this is seriously a great piece. i found myself picturing you (or little you in your pfp) snuggled up beneath your covers, or being read to by your mother. this is incredible :)

    about 2 months ago