Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I love the heartache and love in this piece! Especially this part "my lungs in a whirlwind it's hard to catch air suffocating and screaming my heart will likely tear tear into pieces for my heart's been enslaved" Its so poetic!
I highlighted a few grammar mistakes that aren't really big if you don't want to change them. these are just suggestions :)
You didn't good job with this piece! Its so poetic and i love the story! It seems so real! Good job! :D