Peer Review by BriRiley (United States)

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your still in my ever loving memories

By: aaliyahh


FREE WRITING

my mind was filled with pictures of him
the show is now over let the lights dim
my lungs in a whirlwind it's hard to catch air
suffocating and screaming my heart will likely tear
tear into pieces for my heart's been enslaved
i can't do this without you, may i rest in my grave
 


Peer Review

I love the heartache and love in this piece! Especially this part "my lungs in a whirlwind it's hard to catch air suffocating and screaming my heart will likely tear tear into pieces for my heart's been enslaved" Its so poetic!


I highlighted a few grammar mistakes that aren't really big if you don't want to change them. these are just suggestions :)


Reviewer Comments

You didn't good job with this piece! Its so poetic and i love the story! It seems so real! Good job! :D