Avril

Canada

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your front door."

seventeen years old
joined June 2020
community ambassador alumn!

I love to write reviews, so if you need one let me know in a comment on one of my pieces!

Message to Readers

There is nothing more cathartic than singing at the top of your voice into the dark night sky.

Could really use some reviews on this one! It feels a bit cryptic and I want to figure out how to make the meaning more clear. I was trying to communicate the feeling being trapped in a hard season of life, and finding a way to express those painful emotions.

Sing to the Night Sky

March 19, 2021

FREE WRITING

17
I shout my sorrows into the dark, dark sky.
I twirl, I trip,
I sink into the long, long grass,
and there I lie.
I shout my sorrows into the dark, dark sky.

I sing to the stars on the bleakest nights.
Bare my soul to the wind,
sell my heart to the wolves,
beg the sun to ease my plight.
I sing to the stars on the bleakest nights.

I dance in the fields 'cause there's no one there
Raise my hands to the ravens,
stamp my feet on the dry, dry dirt,
trample the lillies that once adorned my hair.
I dance in the fields 'cause there's no one there.

I chase the crows until they disappear
Push hard through the wind and the frigid air,
feel a feather in my fingers,
hear their calls leave my ears.
I chase the crows until they disappear.

I shout my sorrows into the dark, dark sky,
And wait for the dawn to return my cry.
when logic fails we chase the crows and dance beneath the stars

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16 Comments
  • vastexpansion

    re: thanks for being open to the idea of reviewing my poem!


    5 months ago
  • vastexpansion

    oh wow the i love the last part of this poem, "I shout my sorrows into the dark, dark sky, and wait for the dawn to return my cry," agh its so good!


    5 months ago
  • astrea

    this is so beautiful


    6 months ago
  • nolongeractive

    I really liked how this peace brought so many feelings and natural emotions that come with everyday life and made them seem normal, and I really and thoroughly enjoyed all of the metaphorical elements in the piece; it is so well written.


    6 months ago
  • Stephen

    Re: Thanks for the review, you know, you're a boss at this.
    Check out the new version.


    6 months ago
  • Stephen

    Amazing!
    Just Amazing!


    6 months ago
  • maria.

    I adore this, it's so beautiful. I honestly would expect to see it in a collection of poetry in my room somewhere.
    re: tysm!


    6 months ago
  • Ellington Stone

    This is crazy good. I'm printing it out.


    6 months ago
  • Zirong

    "I shout my sorrows into the dark, dark sky,
    And wait for the dawn to return my cry."

    Love this! The format is really effective, and your language use is superb!

    re: thank you so much! :)


    6 months ago
  • serotonin

    the animal lines give this the barest hint of a wild-child vibe and im here for it
    re: aw thanks :>


    6 months ago
  • halle_cj

    Re: tysm xo


    6 months ago
  • Awesome Sienna

    It's just beautiful! I love it!


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    This is just so beautiful! Wow :)


    6 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Re- Thank you so much for our comment!! <3
    YESS CHRIS EVANS!!
    Aww I love the quote in your bio!


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    Wow! This was written so extremely well!! I love the repetition! It felt like reading a song :))


    6 months ago
  • Ramses IV

    This is so beautiful!


    6 months ago